Drowning Underwater
by Chephirah95
Summary: Kaldura'ahm's darkest secret is brought to the light. The Atlantean Army is not all what it appears to be. With the help of his family and mentor he will get the healing he needs. TRIGGERS: NON CON
1. Chapter 1

**Kaldur'ahm's POV**

The mission was an overall success. We located the enemies base and gathered the intel we needed. There were minor difficulties, but nothing too serious. The team got into a small scuffle, but we had experienced worse. In the end, we got the job done.

We only called in backup from the Justice League because those were our orders: To apprehend the Light's workers and secure their lab off of the island of Star City. When we got back to Mt. Justice I was summoned to the briefing room. Based on the atmosphere in the room, I could tell I did not want to be here. Batman was standing across the room looking at me. His face was stoic, but he was looking at me like he was looking _past_ me. This was not unusual. The presence of my king, however, was.

Aquaman was looking at me strangely. He looked really confused. Worried.

"Kaldur…" His voice failed him.

"Was the mission not a success?"

"In a manner of speaking." This came from Batman.

"I do not understand. This was a recon and apprehend mission. We have done both. There were no casualties and only minor bruising on our side. We were careful."

"Aqualad have a seat. We want to play you a recording from one of the men we have in holding."

I tentatively took my seat. We were never let in on the interrogation part of missions. That was reserved solely for the Justice League. We had a task and fulfilled it.

I froze when I saw who was on the screen.

I attempted to look relaxed, but I knew I was failing spectacularly. Aquaman looked like he was faced with the biggest threat to his kingdom, and it would not surprise me. I could be wrong. This man. Dardanus. He abdicated the Atlantean army years ago and sided with Black Manta. This could be what it is about. I just need to regain my composure. Batman looked a bit sympathetic. It was not so much his eyes, which I could not see, but the way he tilted his head in my direction.

 _"_ _What were you doing in Star City? Has Black Manta expanded his reach?"_

 _No response._

 _"_ _I am your King. Answer me."_

 _"_ _You are no longer my king. The time for Kings and Queens are past. The victory goes to those strong enough to take it."_

 _"_ _Manta tell you that? He may not call himself King, but that is where his true intentions lie. You will not escape justice this day. He cannot even protect you. And if he could, we both know he would not."_

 _Laughter. Strange. Queer. Delusional laughter._

 _"_ _He cannot protect_ _ **me**_ _?_ _ **You**_ _cannot protect_ _ **your**_ _charge."_

I stared blankly at the screen. I was doing my best to remember to breathe.

 _"_ _You do not even know. But how could you? Durahm is a_ _ **good**_ _boy. He knows when to keep a secret."_

 _"_ _What do you mean by this cryptic message? Be clear or hold your tongue."_

 _"_ _He remembers. I bet he can not forget. Did you know? You were not his first mentor. I was. In the Atlantean army. He was a green boy then. Smart. Lonely. So lonely. Always lonely."_

No one interrupted him. I wished they had.

 _"_ _He was so…special. He advanced so fast. He needed the extra attention so that he would impress the board. He needed to keep his army grant. His parents were struggling as it was you know. But Durahm…he was_ _ **helping**_ _them really. Less of a financial burden. So selfless. Always so selfless."_

Forget breathing. I did not _need_ to breathe.

 _"_ _He was so_ _ **good**_ _. Ask him if he remembers me. Remembers us. We took him in. We set him above the others. He was so_ _ **talented**_ _. Barely ever cried. He was so warm. So_ _ **tight**_ _around my c-."_

 _Aquaman had thrown the table over and was choking the man. Hitting him. Trying to get him to stop talking. To stop spilling secrets._ _ **My**_ _secrets._

 _"_ _My son? A child? Have you no shame?"_

 _Superman had appeared in front of the screen and was attempting to stop Aquaman. And if Green Lantern had gotten in a few good kicks, and Batman a combination of well placed punches to the gut, well…Superman could not be in more than one place at a time._

 _"_ _He needed it. He begged us for it."_

I had enough. Tears were threatening to spill over. I stood up and pushed away from the table.

"Please. I do not wish to see this. Please stop. Just…do not… I can not… Stop."

Batman swiftly stopped the tape.

"Aqualad-"

"No. No. No. No."

Aquaman sat me back down and had kneeled in front of my vision.

"Kaldur'ahm. Please try to be calm. Breathe."

"Not this…Too much."

"It will be well Kaldur. We just need to ask a a few questions."

"No one was supposed to _know_. _Ever_. They _promised_ me this." I was talking to myself.

Batman came into my line of vision.

"Kaldur." He never called me by my name.

"We want to help you."

I wanted to be anywhere but here. As large as the room was, it was not big enough.

"I do not require this attention Batman. I have healed long ago. I speak truly on this matter."

It took him a second to understand what I was saying. He grimaced.

"I don't mean _physically_ Kaldur. We want to -"

"That is not necessary. I will resign." I got up to exit.

Aquaman stopped me from leaving.

"We do not want you off of the team Kaldur. We only want to know what happened so that we can help in the best way possible. You do not have to leave the team."

"I can not be a leader after… _this_."

"Kal-"

"I am compromised." Why could he not leave me to myself? Why could he not see that I was compromised? I had taken care of myself for years. I could do it again.

"Aqualad. Please stay seated." Batman took over. Aquaman looked very uncomfortable.

"Do you want to tell us what happened?" Did I _want_ to?

"Please do not ask this of me. It is better left alone. He is apprehended. Let us leave it at that. Can this thing not be done?"

Aquaman made a strangled noise in his throat.

 **Aquaman's POV**

He looked up at me with such innocent and desperate eyes. He wanted us to let him keep this buried. I could not, in good conscience, allow that. If he had asked for anything else in that moment…I would have given it to him without hesitation.

"Kaldur. I hope you know that I care for you. Not only as my protégé, but as a son as well. Anything you tell me will not change our relationship."

He was the son I _chose_. He saved my life and I knew I could ask for no better. None more loyal.

With this new revelation, I could not help but think of all the times he insisted he was ok. Times that sleep eluded him. When he was more hurt from training than he let on.

 _Sha'lain'a. Calvin._ They would have to be told. I promised them that I would protect their son. Mera would be so disappointed in me. For not _knowing_. Not _seeing_.

Kaldur. He deserved a better mentor. Not one who took everything he said at face value. But one who could see past the mask and help him heal.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

"I had to. I had to. I knew it was wrong, and it was my fault for letting it go on for so long-"

They were both shaking their heads. Telling me that, no, it was not my fault. That _I_ was wronged. That I was not the guilty party here.

 **Batman's POV**

I was not surprised that Aquaman seemed lost for words. I do not know what I would do if this ever happened to Dick.

Clark would stay with the scumbag for the night. He was the only one with enough self-control to not end his life.

I am glad we stopped the tape when we did. The man got more _explicit_ the harder we hit him.

I had read Kaldur's file.

I know this is personal now, but I could not help but put my deduction skills to use to see why they had chosen him. He was a textbook case victim as far as picking one went.

 _Lonely,_ he had said.

Lonely indeed. He had no friends except for two who he had only met shortly before becoming Aqualad. His parents were poor and he was relying on a grant to keep him in the Atlantean army school. They probably threatened to have him kicked out if he did not cooperate.

I can not name how many of my elite peers were caught abusing children under the guise of philanthropy. I myself was under scrutiny when Dick became my ward.

People saw that I was a playboy and jumped to the conclusion that I was like _that_.

They could not have been further from the truth.

We were going to have to be careful with Kaldur. He was known for his self-sacrificing ways. He would blame himself. We could not let this ruin him.

I started the questions.

 **Kaldur's POV**

"What is his name?" Before I could answer my king answered in my stead.

"I do not think he knows that. In the Atlantean Army trainers are known by what they teach and are assigned a number. It is to decrease the possibility of playing favoritism based on where one comes from."

Batman looked a little surprised at this.

Aquaman would have normally been right, but I did know his name. Dardanus. I knew _all_ of their names. Dardanus, Arion, Kordax, and Topo.

"Nay my king. He told me. We were friends once?"

I did not know how to explain that they were not always monsters. That we used to just talk about good things. We did not always have _secrets_.

"Son. He led us to believe that there were more of them?"

He wanted to believe that this was not true. I could see it in his eyes. I could not meet them anymore. I began to cry.

"I do not want to do this."

His hand fell on my shoulder.

"It is okay Kaldur. They broke the rules. Not you."

"What will you do?" They shared a look.

"We have to notify your parents." Batman added in his opinion.

I could not allow this.

"You can not. This would hurt them unnecessarily. I will tell you all. If you would only promise to keep this between us."

I was desperate. My parents would blame themselves for _my_ deceit.

Aquaman spoke quietly.

"We cannot do this Kaldur'ahm. Your parents deserve to know. Aside from this, you are a minor under both Human and Atlantean law. I am bound by oath to tell your parents. They will understand-"

I sobbed. There was nothing else to do. I could not persuade him. My darkest secret was being aired out to two men I looked up to. They will think me weak.

"Please Annex Orin. I cannot tell them. I cannot."

He held me. I wished Batman would leave. He is making me anxious.

He must have read my mind because he left the room.

"Kaldur. Son. Please believe that I have your best interest at heart."

"If you tell them they will blame themselves. Please do not do this to them."

"Aqualad. I know your parents. They both love you fiercely. There is nothing they would not do for you. They will not turn you away or shun you. Do you believe this?"

I just sobbed more. He hugged me tighter.

"I am _afraid_."


	2. Chapter 2

I do not know why my stories are so dark lately but here it is.

P.S. I am still working on my other stories for those who are reading it.

I do not own Young Justice or its characters.

Please do not forget to comment etc…

 ** _***FLASHBACK – Entire Chapter ***_**

Today is the day.

The Atlantean Army Corps was coming to Shayeris today to round up the new volunteers. They wore the special insignia that signified they were here for the 11 year olds.

11 was the youngest you could be and join the army. We would not see real battle for quite some time, but we would learn the history of Atlantis and how to become good soldiers, generals, patrollers, and royal bodyguards. Those of us not inclined to defend would learn science and healing in body, mind, and spirit.

My mother and father were not well off. I always wanted to study magic at an academy, but we could not afford it. The army was cheaper and if I worked hard enough I could earn a grant that would allow me to study the Arts free of charge.

My mother, Sha'lain'a, was a great sorceress. I know she always had the greatest desire to train me in The Arts herself, but that was one of her conditions.

In order for her to stay in Atlantis after the rebellion, she was not allowed to practice any heavy magic. By default, she was not allowed to teach me. And she did not, teach me any spells that is, but she did give me tips on how to make them more powerful, more potent, and more exact. How to breathe, where to find the best materials, and ways to increase focus.

In order to make a living, she would sell healing potions. They did not require magic, as much as they did the correct ingredients. We weren't desolate, but we relied heavily upon on her income.

It was hard enough for _darkened_ Atlanteans to find work, yet alone a full human.

You have to understand. To most Atlanteans, the Sun is considered a myth. We are so deep underwater that most had never saw it in person. We never saw stars either. Atlanteans that look like my mother and myself are considered cursed by the Sun's kiss. My step father explained to me about the sun and the effects it can have on skin.

My step-father Calvin was a good man. He was allowed to stay with my mother in exchange for ditching the rebellion and handing over information. They never talk about it, but I got the feeling that he would not be safe on the surface world. I know he misses it. It was not unusual for him to enthrall me with stories of street vendors, drive-ins, _hot_ food, and the strangest of them all, _showers_!

There were creatures that stood under a shower of water in order to clean themselves. I secretly wanted to try one. Standing in dry air only to get clean by being sprayed with a limited amount of water. Strange indeed.

Mother would tell me I had a knack for magic, that it was _literally_ flowing through me. When I showed interest in The Arts, many were concerned that I would follow after my mother and take up the Dark Arts. So when I enlisted in the army, there were many who were already wary of me. The other children did not take to me either.

Orientation went by quickly. Too quickly for some. They were sent home. If you did not pass the orientation exams, you were not allowed to stay. You were always welcomed to come back in a year. Most did.

I got a perfect score. From then on we were separated by scores into classes. Naturally that put me in the top of my classes. It also made me a target. Your level was never permanent though. It changed depending on your progress.

We were tested in everything from strength, tactics, creativity, to leadership, adaptability, and the ability to battle stress. Some of the things we were not _outright_ tested in were stealth, ambition, loyalty, and self-preservation.

Our files were pretty thick from just a few weeks of exams, reports, and instructor's remarks. As things went further along, our numbers dropped from over 2,000 to slightly under 800.

I was never the best at making friends. The army was no different. No one was overtly hostile towards me, but I got strange looks, and people were not keen on conversing with me.

I did not mind. After all, one of the tenants of the army was _strength in isolation_. I believe this is what garnered my instructor's attention. I was taken into the guide's hall and the headmaster was waiting for me.

He was a big man. Seemingly hardened by battle.

"Kaldur'ahm of Shayeris. Have a seat."

I was nervous. I knew I wasn't in trouble, but I was worried that I would be told to try and make other's acquaintance. _Too much_ separation was not a good thing.

"Your file has been brought to my attention many times since your arrival."

I waited with baited breath.

"It says here you are interested in magic, but willing to be a soldier. I've looked over your results and you are progressing admirably. My concern is this: you score high in the ability to lead, but low in ambition. Why do you think that is?"

I took a few moments to gather my thoughts. I had no desire to be remembered as the youth who stumbled over his words.

"Because I aim to be a soldier Great Elder. I have no designs on becoming a general. A soldier's duty is to follow, and a general's to lead."

He raised a brow.

"Very well put. Here is what we are suggesting to you. Your next courses will be geared toward a General's position. You will be tested and tried in battle simulations, advanced tactics, ethics, and civic responsibility."

I was not sure how to respond and told him as such.

"Young soldier, you will have a promising career in the military. Maybe even a royal guard for Annex Orin. And if you should exceed there, you could surely train in the Royal Academy of the Arts. There is no greater honor for a student of Sorcery."

"I would be honored Great Elder."

When I got back to my room, which I shared with 19 others, I was quickly surrounded. It was very different for me. I was not used to having so many people vying for my attention.

"So what did he want?"

"Are you being sent home?"

"Do not be stupid. He is at the top of our class."

"If he is being sent home, then I have no hope of ever graduating."

"Are you being promoted?"

I was bombarded with question after question. Most were answered by other people. They finally calmed down enough to actually _listen_.

"I am not being sent home. I was told that my work load would slightly increase. Nothing more."

I could tell they did not fully believe me, but no one was close enough to me to push the issue. They had to take my word for it.

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For the next two weeks I felt like I was getting little to no sleep. From the time we were required to eat to the time we were required to sleep, I was working. I had my normal work on top of my advanced classes.

I had papers, lectures, field training, debate, ethics, and meditation.

It was lonely.

I had no comrades and my work isolated me further from the others. The only thing that changed was the level of respect I got. People respected me from a distance, but no one was friendly to me.

It only made me have to work harder to keep that respect. It was a heavy burden to bear.

I was grateful for our break. We all got to go home if we chose to.

Shayeris had not changed. I guess 7 months is not enough for real change.

My parents were as supportive as ever. But I came bearing good news.

"The army has taken charge of my expenses."

They were both shocked. The army had only ever chosen 4 soldiers before me to finance their education so soon into training.

We went out to celebrate. It was a buffet style restaurant. You go into a small separate room and your table is filled with seafood. You eat right off of the table. It is messy, and yet stimulating all the same.

My stay was not very long. My parent's seemed disheartened that I had not acquired any friends. They were proud of my accomplishments, but they did not want me to be alone so much. Even at home I had no _real_ friends. I knew a few of the neighbors' children, and they came by to ask me about the army, but that was that. I had not met Tula or Garth until my final year in the army.

When I got back to base, I was surprised to find how _much_ I missed home. I was fine that morning. I guess seeing all of the other youths running around sharing stories, complaining about their old friends who seemed so _childish_ now, whining about their nagging parents, and bragging about their new gifts got to me.

I had no one to do any of those things with, and it hurt.

My countenance had fallen. I found myself going through the motions.

It took a week for everything to fall back into place. The class was down to 517. Some people went home and decided to stay. Being separated from your family at such a young age is hard to do. Not everyone is capable of sticking it out.

After winning a grant to continue in the army my parents had one less thing to worry about. They sent me letters quite often. They got me through many hard times.

Battle Simulations.

Battle simulations were the hardest things I ever had to do. They were not meant to be won, just to be learned from. It was difficult to grasp that I was improving when all I got was criticism from my instructors.

I was really down about it. My superiors took notice and sent me to the mind healers.

I stayed there for 3 days and was taught ways to cope with constructive criticism. I was reminded several times that I was improving, that each battle was testing something different. It was not about winning, but learning how to make the best of all situations and adapting to changes. It gave my instructors a peek into my head about how I would handle a real life battle.

With that knowledge, deep meditation, and a much needed break, I was back to my daily program.

I went back to battle stimulations and poured myself into my studies with new vigor. It was around my 8th month into the army that things really took a turn for the worse.

It became apparent that I was not going to make any friends. Everyone was already sectioned into groups. The best I could do was study groups and briefs with my team after a mock battle, a debate, or a lecture.

It was not the same as having friends, but at least I was interacting with my peers.

I started to stand out more and more to my instructors and trainers. The instructors were called by their respective titles and names. The trainers however, were simply given numbers and titles. Such as Debate Formalities Trainer 672. We never knew their names, and more importantly were they came from.

It helped keep things unbiased by eliminating the commonality of home towns and the like.

A few trainers began to take me under their wing. I thought this would breed resentment in my peers, but it had not. They had all assumed I was being trained for a General position and that all the attention was a part of my work load.

It was not.

I should have noticed things were off. The trainers were attempting to fill the friend position, not one of a mentor. I knew they should not be fraternizing with me on such a personal level but I was _so_ tired of being alone.

Debate Formalities Trainer 672, Morality of Ethics Trainer 323, History of Atlantean Military Trainer 401, and Diplomatic Public Speaking Trainer 111 really spent a lot of time with me.

They gave me inside information on what the army was looking for if I wanted to advance, I received extra tutelage in their subjects after class, I got personalized help in my studies, and they would sneak me in treats from the trainer's mess hall.

I was basking in their attention. I wanted to be included in things outside of my work and they were filling that need.

We got so familiar with each other that they broke one of the most important rules and told me their names.

Kordax of Tritonian, Arion of Poseidonis, Dardanus of Merma, and Topo of Dyss.

I could see why it was a rule to keep your name to yourself. I was wary of Topo since I learned he was from Dyss. Shayeris and Dyss had a civil war for 7 years over territorial rights. Annex Orin claimed Shayeris the victor. I thought he would hold a grudge against me, but he assured me he would not. He was an open minded man who did not _hold a child responsible for the foolishness of adults_.

I felt comfortable with them and they took advantage of it.

Dardanus was the most forthcoming. He told me that he wanted to go over one of my essays over the Battle of Tyton from the era of Mermaids, and why my outlook was too narrow to blame the people of Octopi for the majority of the battle.

This was not unusual. I required little sleep and was more than eager to learn of our history.

When I got there we went over my paper. Halfway through arguing my side Dardanus slid awfully close to me. He laid his hand on my shoulder and talked to me about the finer points of politics and financial sway over the crown. I was uncomfortable for a short while but he seemed engrossed in teaching me.

I forgot about the hand.

Until he rubbed against my gills.

I hated when people tried to touch my gills. It was uncommon for non animal like Atlanteans to have gills. People saw them and wanted to touch them to see if they were real. It was an extremely popular fad to have fake gills tattooed on.

I pushed away from him and stood up.

"Please refrain from doing that."

He was quick to apologize and insisted that his hand had slipped. That it was an accident. I believed him. Like an idiot I believed him. He talked with his hands and often got animated about his subject. It was not hard to believe that he got caught up in his story.

I sat back down.

He did not put his hand back on my shoulder or neck, but they somehow found their way to my knee. It was a platonic touch to be sure, but it felt heavy.

The conversation was stiff even though he attempted to revive it. I wanted to leave but did not know how to without seeming rude.

I was not really listening anymore, but the sudden hand on my crotch shook me out of it.

Before I could move away he was upon me. He was kissing my gills and rubbing himself against me.

My heart clenched in fear. My throat closed up. I stayed still.

"Shhh. Durahm. This will not hurt. I do not endeavor to hurt you. I would never."

His hand slipped into my uniform and tears came to my eyes. His hand was on my most private of parts. My parents gave me this talk. About good touches and bad ones. They told me I could tell them anything. Never to be ashamed to ask for help. To say no. Even though I knew all of this, I did nothing. I was frozen in fear.

"Beautiful."

He looked even more wild now. Atlantean's do not typically have tear ducts. It was rare to see someone cry. I found my voice.

"Elder Dardanus. Please stop. I do not want this."

"You will learn to. Do not deny me this Durahm. Accept my gift please."

He kept rubbing me and seemed frustrated when nothing happened.

"That is okay. It will happen later. You will learn to love this. You are just too tense right now. Try to relax."

I tried to push him off of me but he had me pinned and was much heavier than me.

"Such beautiful skin. So _dark_. So _soft_. Do not cry."

He started grunting and stopped rubbing against me.

"See. That did not hurt. It did not. You are fine. Stop with the tears now."

He was hugging me awkwardly and I attempted to run.

He tightened his grip.

"Durahm you must not overreact. Did I hurt you?"

Durahm alone means my heart. It is why people tell me Kaldur instead. I was confused. I was not in physical pain, but my heart was heavy.

I shook my head no.

"Exactly. I only did this because I thought you would enjoy it too. You seem so lonely. I know how it is. I had a hard time making friends when I was your age too. I just wanted to show you that someone cared. Okay?"

I was not so sure I believed him, but he sounded so sincere. And truthfully I was not in any pain. I was more startled than anything.

"I did not like it. Can we refrain from doing _that_ again?"

I wanted so badly for things to return to normal, but in my heart I knew they would not.

Dardanus merely looked at me.

Before I knew it his lips were on mine. I stood still. Waiting to be let go.

"You will learn to like it Durahm."

Before I could say anything else the door opened.


	3. Chapter 3

This chapter is a back and forth between mentor & protégé. Will Kaldur submit to telling his parents?

Same warnings apply. Please read the tags.

Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice or its characters.

I worked really hard on this chapter. Switching between people is hard for me but here it is.

Don't forget to leave kudos & COMMENT

I TOLD MYSELF TO WAIT A FEW DAYS BEFORE POSTING THIS CHAPTER BUT I _LITERALLY_ HAVE NO DISCIPLINE SO HERE SHE IS… 3 DAYS BEFORE SCHEDULE

 *****Present Day*****

 **Batman's POV**

Hearing Kaldur's cries outside of the door made everything that more real. For one so young, Kaldur was known to put his feelings on the back burner. He rarely smiles, hardly laughed, and was not prone to sharing his problems.

Aquaman was talking too low to make out words. I just hoped he convinced Kaldur to tell his parents. They would have to be told, but it would be easier if Kaldur was on board.

This was a problem that would have to be dealt with properly. The Justice League was not known for stepping in with personal problems, but this was different.

Kaldur'ahm, for all his polite gestures and mature characteristics, was still a child. It is easy to forget that he is so young. He has the most restraint on the team and is the one they often turn to for advice. Even Dick has sought his counsel.

Dick.

I had to get to the cave. I text Alfred to let him know I might be late. I needed time to think. I needed to talk to Dick to ease my own fears. I just had to be careful not to give anything away.

This was Kaldur's story to tell.

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 _Bruce_. Not Batman. I needed to be Bruce right now. Without the mask and uniform, Dick looked his age. 13.

Just 13.

He was looking at me with those big blue eyes. Despite everything he's seen, everything he's done, how he manages to still be optimistic eludes me. But I am glad that he has it. There is nothing worse than a jaded hero.

"Hey Bruce."

I grunt in acknowledgement. He doesn't hold it against me.

"Is everything okay? Did you get the information you were looking for?"

I didn't want him asking questions about the interrogation so I just jumped to what I wanted to talk to him about.

"Let's sit down Dick."

His demeanor changed in seconds. I was the one who taught him that. To stay on guard, to be ready to fight whenever. I just wished it didn't make him seem so old. Kids shouldn't think like that. He was only 13.

At 13 I was…well…I was a _flirt_. I had a new _girlfriend_ every week, and I ran Alfred up the walls with my attitude. I guess I could be screwing him up worse.

"I know this team is important to you. I know how loyal you are to the cause. But if you ever need time to yourself. Time off. Time to work through things let me know okay?"

"What's this about?"

I knew he wouldn't give me a simple answer.

"The job. Because that's what it is. A job. You have the right to take off of work sometimes."

"But you said that-"

"I know. And that still holds true. There will _always_ be crime. But you can't stop all of them."

"Do you think I should take a break?"

I sighed.

"That's not what I'm saying Dick. I just want you to know that it's _okay_ to need a break. Everyone does."

"Okaaaay."

"Dick. _Richard_. Listen. You can tell me anything. I don't care how silly or serious you think it is okay? I want you to know that I will always be in your corner."

I could tell he wasn't taking me seriously. He thought this was just another sentimental Bruce overprotective moment.

"Even if it embarrasses you?"

"Yes. I'll get over it. And if you don't feel comfortable telling me, tell Alfred."

He sat up straighter and just looked at me.

"Promise me Dick."

"I promise."

"Dick."

"I promise. If I ever need help or am in trouble, I'll tell you or Alfred."

"Okay. That's all I ask. Get some sleep."

"But I thought we were going to patrol tonight."

"I'm tired. Gotham will still be here tomorrow."

 **Aquaman's POV**

Kaldur is refusing to make eye contact. He still has not released the names. He is trying to force my hand into not telling his parents. He is determined. It's one of the things that make him such an effective soldier. But now his determination is misplaced.

"Kaldur'ahm. I cannot keep this from your parents. I know you may be feeling shame" he dipped his head lower, "and fear, but your parents will be there for you. They will want to know."

He just shook his head.

I sat next to him.

It was taking a lot of will power to not command him to tell me. This was for his own good, but I did not want to send the wrong message.

I wanted him to trust me to help him.

"Kaldur. Will you at least tell me what happened?"

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

I have never kept anything from my parents except this.

They would not understand. They are good people. Too good.

They would blame themselves for not knowing. Even though I was careful to hide the truth.

They would not dare entertain the thought that their precious son was the one who let this thing go on.

The one who knew it was wrong and still did it anyways.

The one who did not want his parents to be burdened by a debt that was not their own.

I know my king believes he would be helping, but he would not.

I made him an offer. A generous one in my opinion. I would tell him _everything_ , even the most _shameful_ parts, if he would only spare my parents.

 **Aquaman's POV**

"My son. Anything you tell me will not be told to your team. But your parents are another matter. I know you do not wish to hurt them, but they will want to help you as much as we."

"It has been years. I have been Aqualad for 3 years now. In all that time, _no one_ questioned my ability to lead or follow orders. No one worried that I was not capable of handling myself. This was _before_ anyone knew. If I was fine then, I fail to see what help I could possibly need now."

I was stricken.

We had stopped the tape, and so he does not know how much more was said.

He did not hear about the _hands_ , the _nightmares_ , the _kisses_ , the _humiliation_ , the _treachery_.

The man said Kaldur would have night terrors. Night terrors so severe that the mind healers thought it was due to the battle simulators. For being introduced to violence so young.

They were so wrong.

Kaldur did not hear the man describe how they would press his face to the ocean floor and _take turns_ on his prepubescent body. How they would not _stop_ until he pretended to like it and _begged_ them to continue.

Kaldur did not hear about being forced to his knees in the _hallway_ where _anyone_ could have walked by.

No. Kaldur needed to release these demons and heal completely. He needed to be a person first, not a soldier.

I had to get Kaldur to tell me the truth.

I had to force him into a corner so to speak.

"Do you recall the night terrors? He said it was _four_ of them" I _had_ to do this "he said he made you beg. Forced you to do things you did not want to. Made you-"

He began shaking his head. His eyes widened. His breath became shallow. He clenched his hands into fists.

His voice was so low I had to scoot closer to hear.

"My king…these are things I do not _wish_ to remember. Things I have put behind be. I got better. I started eating again. The dreams stopped. I am better now. I do not wish to remember. The things he said…They are true. I did terrible _shameful_ things."

His voice was shaky and small. I made a mental note about him eating.

"So _shameful_. It is these parts, that I wish to keep from my parents. I cannot tell them that I _begged_. I cannot tell them that… that…that sometimes it did not _hurt_. It was _okay_."

He was crying again. Just tears. No sobs.

"I can not go to them and tell them how many times I lied when they asked if I was okay. If I was eating enough. If I was making friends. I cannot look at them and let them know that their son was so _weak_. That I knew they would help and I _still_ did not confide in them. They will feel a betrayal deeper than my shame. I beg you Annex Orin-"

I put one hand on his shoulder and used the other one to tilt his head up.

"You do not need to beg me son. You never need to beg me. I understand. I understand. You do not have to tell them _everything_. Maybe you will change your mind about that one later, but they should know the basics. That is all I ask. No more. You do not have to give… _specifics_."

His resolve was breaking.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

There is so _much_ that I have kept hidden. For good reason.

I did not tell him of the time Topo gave me a gill infection.

When he would take his pleasure from my mouth he would make me _swallow_. His essence would seep out of my gills and my throat always seemed like something was stuck in it. There was buildup and I had to go to the healers for a week due to breathing problems.

I did not tell him of the time Kordax used me just outside of the bunk rooms while everyone else slept.

He was forceful. I could not cry out. I was too close to my comrade-in-arms. If they were to hear and walk out to see me being disgraced. I do not know how I would have survived. I had trouble doing simple actions like sitting and combat stretching. My stats fell that week.

I did not tell him of the time Arion dislocated my collar bone.

He had me on top. I hated that the most. I could not just sit still and wait until it was over. I had to _move_. He would not let me sit looking away from him. I had to _straddle_ him. It always made me feel so young and vulnerable. My feet never touched the ground. I was only 11. That particular day Arion was more energetic than usual. We were at his desk. He left his office door open. He liked the possibility of being caught. He pushed my neck back too hard and my collar bone hit the edge of the desk. It shifted out of place. I tried to cry, but the pain made me pass out. He told the healers my midnight training got rough.

I did not tell him of the time Dardanus had me crawl to him before offering my mouth.

He pushed me to my knees. I was used to it by then. I made to remove his tunic, but he stopped me and pushed me onto all fours. He told me to stay put. I did. He went across the room and made me crawl to him. I counted the shells I passed. Anything to take my mind off of this demeaning act. When I made it over to him he pushed his way into my mouth and _thanked_ me for being so _good_.

There were _many_ things I did not say. Like the time Topo took me to his room after a night terror and put his mouth on me. I was embarrassed. I hated to think about that day.

There was a time Kordax found me after a particularly difficult ethics debate that I lost and used his hand on me. He did not make me do anything back. There was the time Dardanus was gentle. He did not make me beg. He used a _lubricant_ first. I made shameful noises and he only _thanked_ me for a good time. There was the time Arion just kissed me. I told him I did not want to do anything that day and he acquiesced.

How could I tell him of 4 years of abuse in one night?

What parts did I leave out?

Which parts were the most important?

It was these things I feared my parents finding out.

With the promise that I did not have to give _specifics_ I told him we could tell my parents.

"What if they ask questions? I do not wish to lie anymore."

He just looked relieved that I was willing to tell my parents.

 **Aquaman's POV**

I was relieved. Kaldur had agreed to confide in his parents. That was a great burden off of my shoulders. I do not wish to go against him in this. We needed to be on the same page.

"What is they ask questions? I do not wish to lie anymore."

This was a question I could answer.

"You do not have to lie Kaldur. There is a way to tell them and not go into specifics. Set boundaries. Tell them that you do not wish to delve into details, but that there is something you must tell them. They will understand."

He slightly nodded his head.

"When?"

"We can wait a few days. You have been through a lot today. I want to see how you sleep. We can zeta there in the night. We will not run into anyone except the guards."

He looked grateful. If someone stopped us they would want to know why we were there. It was none of their business.

I would, of course, have to look into Shayeris' army branch and see if there were any other victims. I am most certain there are. I am _not_ certain I will tell Kaldur though. He would only blame himself.

"You have been very brave today Kaldur. You did not have to tell me these things, but I am honored you consider me worthy enough to bear them."

He managed to look at me.

"I have their names."

Before he could change his mind I nodded my head in encouragement.

"Kordax of Tritonian, Arion of Poseidonis, Dardanus of Merma, and Topo of Dyss. Dardanus is the one we have captured."

I gave him a gentle smile.

"Thank you Kaldur'ahm. You have been exceptional today. Why don't we retire for the night?"

"I do not believe I can sleep."

He sounded embarrassed.

"That is fine. You do not have to force yourself. Just try. Your body needs rest. You have no assignments tomorrow."

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

As much as I wanted this talk to end, I knew the night terrors would come. It had been years since I had one about my time in the army.

We got up to exit the briefing room.

I briefly wondered if I would ever see this room the same.

I was surprised the Batman was not outside the door. I was also very thankful.

Just as I predicted. The night terrors came.


	4. Chapter 4

Kaldur doesn't sleep so well. The League meet up for the first time since the incident.

Same warnings apply. Please read the tags.

Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice or its characters.

I worked really hard on this chapter. Switching between people is hard for me but here it is.

PLEASE don't forget to leave kudos & COMMENT. They get me going.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

I do not believe the appropriate word for what I have is _dreams_. They are memories. Dark memories.

I slept in Aquaman's quarters on his couch.

He insisted I use his bed but I told him I was uncomfortable with that.

He got a sad look on his face and said he was only a room away if I needed him.

I would do my best to _not_ need him.

I am here to help protect the surface-dwellers as well as aid my king. It would not look right for me to seek solace over emotional phantoms.

 **Aquaman's POV**

I offered Kaldur'ahm the use of my bed while I took the couch. I wanted him to be comfortable. In hindsight, I should have known better. I should have anticipated that he would not feel comfortable in my bed.

While Kaldur retrieved his things, I sent Batman and Superman the information he had given me. I let them know that Kaldur had agreed to consult with his parents. I also added a footnote to ask them to covertly monitor his eating habits.

I could not have him down trodden _and_ malnourished.

Knowing my charge, he would try to sleep, and if unsuccessful he would opt to stay awake. I planned on staying awake regardless. I wanted to be there if he had need of me.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV- dream**

 _Heat. Searing heat._

 _My gill infection had gotten worse. I attempted to hide it, but I began to lose my voice. It was getting harder to eat and to breathe._

 _My gills were trying to filter water and it felt like I was only pulling in air._

 _In short I was slowly drowning._

 _The corners of my gills were crusted. If I picked at it, puss would form. I tried to keep them clean but Topo made it nearly impossible._

 _It got so bad that one morning I awoke to half of my neck swollen. One of my bunk mates called for the nearest trainer. He rushed me to the healers and our bunk was quarantined. They thought it was contagious._

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 _In the healer's office I was given seaweed._

 _Any other time I would have gladly accepted it, but with a gill infection seaweed burns. Badly._

 _"_ _Because your condition is so advanced we will have to have you ingest the seaweed and use wraps for the outside. We would usually let you choose, but you need both."_

 _She was not unkind._

 _She made me drink two shots of pure seaweed extract. I could not enjoy the taste for the burning._

 _She ground dried seaweed and added an antibacterial additive. She spread this on wet seaweed strips and wrapped it around my neck._

 _The pain was unbearable. I was coughing and trying to remove the wraps. An aide came in and they held me down. I know this was for my own good but the_ _ **pain**_ _. The pain was_ _ **unbearable**_ _._

 _I screamed. Or tried to. My throat would not cooperate. The buildup of Topo's essence, they thought it was phlegm, fell away from the back of my throat and made its way up my esophagus._

 _The choking was enough to make me wheeze._

 _One particularly hard cough made me scream in agony._

 **Aquaman's POV**

Aqualad had fallen into a fitful sleep an hour ago. So far he only seemed mildly bothered. When his breathing started to pick up I sat on the edge of my bed. I wanted to wait to see if he would calm down on his own. No need to embarrass him with my presence if he was not actually having a night terror.

" _Aaaaaaaaah!"_

Kaldur's screams sent me into a frenzy. I threw open the door and knelt beside him. His webbed hands were clinging to the left side of his neck. I attempted to shake him awake but he would not cooperate.

I tilted him up and got behind him. His head was on my shoulder. I rubbed his back until he slowly came awake.

Even with his coloring I could see his cheeks get darker. It was not my intention to embarrass him. I only wanted to help. He was not crying, but his eyes were suspiciously red.

"Kaldur. Your neck. Is there something that ails you?"

He sat up a little and only shook his head.

"Bad dream?"

He nodded.

"Would you like to talk to me about it?"

"It is fine-"

He dropped his head in defeat.

"You can tell me whatever you like Kaldur. Or you can tell me nothing. I will sit here until you want me to leave."

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

The only time I have ever told anyone about my feelings was Black Canary, and that was after the simulation.

I had a hard time that week. When Batman told us what we were going to do, I wanted so badly to object, but in the end I could not.

The simulation ended poorly. Just like my old battle simulations.

I told Black Canary only very little of what I was feeling. She was content and I left it at that.

With Aquaman, it was harder to tell him anything. But if I could not even tell _him_ , I would certainly never be able to face my _parents_.

 _Be brave son._

How many times had my parents told me that? To be brave, face my problems head on?

"My gills are fine. I was just reminded of when I had an infection years ago."

He just looked at me patiently.

I made myself not cry. I had cried enough for one night.

"My gills. Once I got an infection. It was painful. I dreamed about the seaweed treatment."

"I see."

He sounded unsure. He could not tell if I was being truthful or not. That hurt a little.

I wanted to lie but there was no point. He could see I was miserable.

"Topo. He…" I looked away " _used_ my mouth."

I made myself continue.

"I was made to swallow. Some of it built up around my throat. I got an infection in my gills as a result. It was painful. I could not talk. I could not drink. I could not breathe. Sorry for waking you."

He pulled me into a hug. My resolve broke then. I was not going to cry, but that did it.

 **Aquaman's POV**

I am going to _personally_ kill him. The law be damned.

I cannot help but picture a scared and confused 11-year-old Kaldur.

"It is alright. You did not wake me."

I just hugged him tighter. I gently swayed with him. It was not quite rocking. I did this until his breathing slowed down.

"I will help you through this Kaldur. You do not have to do this alone. If you ever have need of me do not hesitate to wake me. I am a light sleeper. It will be nothing to get up."

He mumbled something.

"What is that?"

His voice was a bit firmer.

"How? How can I say these words to them? My mouth almost did not allow me to speak them to you."

He did not need to tell me who them was.

"Say whatever comes to mind."

"Will you be there when I tell them? If I cannot…will you fill them in on the rest?"

His eyes were pleading.

I was surprised that he wanted me there. I would have thought he would want to do this alone. Me and his mother are on good terms, but I am still the one who qualified her use of magic. She has not forgotten that.

But I would not let this stop me from helping Kaldur'ahm.

"If you want me to be there I will. If you need me to tell them anything I will do that too. Trust yourself Kaldur. You have a good head on your shoulders. You will do fine. There is no one right way to go about this. Just comfort yourself with the fact that your parents love you. Will you be okay for the night? Do you need anything?"

He shook his head no. But he did ask me to leave the table lamp on. He insisted he just needed time to think.

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 **Superman's POV**

"Did he say anything else last night?"

This was from Batman.

I wanted to keep it to myself but that would help no one. Least of all Kaldur.

"He had more… _stories_ to tell. They were very _explicit_. Very vulgar."

Everyone in the room looked sick. Aquaman, Black Canary, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman, Flash and Batman.

 _Bang_.

Aquaman beat his fists on the table.

"This man does not deserve to breathe the air in his lungs. Let me take him back to Atlantis and be done with it."

"Arthur-" I tried to reason with him.

" _No_! You have no idea. You heard that man _Dardanus_ say what he did, but you did _not_ have to console a _child_ while he tried to insist that he was fine when he was clearly not. This man will face justice. It will be swift and sure."

I did not try to object again. It is not that I think the man is innocent or deserves mercy, I just don't want anyone to get comfortable taking the law into their own hands.

 **Green Lantern's POV**

I wish I could have gotten the rotten bastard better than I did.

"I agree with Aquaman. The man has confessed. It's open and closed. He is Atlantean. Let him handle it."

 **Black Canary's POV**

Before anyone could agree or disagree with Green Lantern I stepped in.

"I have worked with Kaldur closely for months now. He has a tendency to take blame for things out of his control. He will want this man to face justice, but not outside of proper procedures. If we just send him to his death, which I would be completely okay with otherwise, he will be hurt. This is not about Dardanus or us. It is about Kaldur. I caution you all to remember that."

That seemed to ease the tension in the room. Even Aquaman took a deep breath.

 **Aquaman's POV**

"The truth is: I don't believe I _can_ be objective about this. The man is certainly guilty, but Kaldur is like a son to me. I care not for this Dardanus' life. _At all_."

 **Superman's POV**

I cleared my throat.

"He said there was more than one of them. I know Kaldur verified this, but are we going to go find these other men too? From what he had to say, another of the men, _Kordax_ , is also in Black Manta's ranks. How do we even go about getting him?"

 **Aquaman's POV**

"I had someone look into these men. Topo has been swiftly removed and given false assignments to keep him unsuspecting. I have opened a private investigation to see if there were any more… _victims_. The other, Arion, has retired. I must simply go to Poseidonis and have him arrested. Their crimes are punishable by death."

Everyone just waited for me to continue.

"Arion will be harder to get. _Politics_. The crown is more than a little indebted to Poseidonis. They have the highest amount of soldiers from their homes. If we do not play this right, we could be looking at a civil war. He is a well connected man and has the treasury behind him. We cannot simply go _get_ him. He is at the head of his clan and has been for 2 years now."

This was not met well.

Batman jumped in.

 **Batman's POV**

Great. Politics. Money. The threat of war. All because one man has enough power to make those in power turn away.

"I am familiar with politics. We can sit down later and form a plan. For now, we should focus on Kaldur. How much of this do we let him in on?"

Aquaman sighed.

"I would say as much as he wants to be, but I do not believe he can handle it right now. He did not sleep well last night. He refused food this morning. He does not think he will be able to keep it down. We should tell him the basics and anything more than that if he asks, we tell him."

That is sound reasoning.

 **Wonder Woman's POV**

"I cannot wrap my head around this. I have seen child soldiers before, but was no one looking after his well being?"

Aquaman looked offended.

"That is the problem. They are looked after. By the trainers. They have to go through rigorous background checks. I understand how Arion slipped through the cracks, but the others were clean as well. They paid their stately taxes every year, no odd payments, no criminal activity until now, and not a bad word about any of them. There was nothing that would rise anyone's suspicion."

I found it hard to accept this. Man's world was a dark one indeed.

"Except for the fact that their history's are _too_ clean."

 **Black Canary's POV**

"I understand where everyone is coming from but Diana, I think what Aquaman is trying to say is that not all bad men _appear_ bad. It's not uncommon for upstanding citizens to be the most heinous of criminals. This has happened before and will happen again. Kal-"

Superman put up his hand to stop us from talking. He tilted his head towards the door. Kaldur walked in.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

I listened outside of the door for a few minutes until I gasped a little too loudly. No doubt Superman heard me. If the sudden silence was anything to go by.

 _Be brave son. Be brave. Be brave._

I walked into the room. I did not have quite enough courage to lift my head. The room was so….dry. I needed water _now_.

"Kaldur'ahm are you okay?"

Aquaman crossed the room to me. He walked me to one of the chairs. I was the only one sitting. Some were looking at me and others at invisible spots on the floor.

I was out of my depth here.

I do not know why I came in at all. I could have walked away. No one would have faulted me for that. But I came in anyways. I wanted to know what was going to happen. I did not want this made public. Aqualad was a public figure in Atlantis.

To be _defiled_ like this. Maybe in a few generations Aqualad would only be a symbol, but for now, Aqualad and Kaldur'ahm were one in the same.

Everyone who knew Aqualad knew me. I was akin to a celebrity.

This could not be public. This needed to be handled quietly.

Maybe some of it is that I am ashamed. But Aquaman said I had the right to feel whatever I needed to. I am choosing to trust him in his assessment.

"Water. I need water."

The room erupted in movement.

Green Lantern was the first to get me a bottle. After he handed it to me he did not seem sure what to do with his hands. He stepped back behind Canary.

 **Aquaman's POV**

I was ashamed. I do not not how much Kaldur heard. He walked into the room looking very faint. He needed water.

After he guzzled down the bottle the room was quiet still. Some were waiting for him to talk and others were battling if they should be the one to break the silence. Kaldur decided for us.

"Gratitude…For the water."

He seemed a little shy. More reserved than usual.

"No problem." Green Lantern was just as awkward.

"Kaldur'ahm…we were not sure how much you wanted to know."

"It is okay. I should not have been eavesdropping."

There were choruses of

 _"_ _No,_ _ **we**_ _should have been careful, you have_ _ **every**_ _right to be here, and_ _ **we**_ _apologize!"_

"Kaldur, it is as I said yesterday. You have _nothing_ to apologize for. If you want to know something, just ask. I will tell you. Is this amenable to you?"

He took his time answering. No one could say he did not think things through.

"It is. Can we speak to my parent's tomorrow? I do not wish to prolong this anymore."

"Of course. We will Zeta to Atlantis and use seahorses to pull us the rest of the way. It will attract less attention."

He simply nodded his head.

Canary stepped up to Kaldur and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I would like to talk to you later on Kaldur. Is that okay?"

He nodded again. Kaldur'ahm was a smart child, he probably suspected he would have to speak with Canary anyways. It was a good sign.

Batman cleared his throat and dismissed himself. The rest followed. Only Kaldur and myself remained.


	5. Chapter 5

**Kaldur'ahm's POV**

We stayed in the room while my king filled me in. He told me of Arion. How he and Batman would take care of it. I was not so sure they could. Not without consequences.

I did not know how important of a man he was, but I knew he had an ample supply of funds.

It was not uncommon for him to lavish me with gifts and trips.

I wanted so _badly_ to refuse them but, if I did, the others would want to know _why_.

Who would pass up the chance to see Clam Stadium, to meet _the_ Kovin of Mera, to train with the royal guards for 2 weeks as an apprentice before you even graduated? No one. The other soldiers-in-training would have jumped at the opportunity. Their interest would have been piqued at my refusal to go. I could not have that.

But I could hardly _appreciate_ the _gifts_. For what is a gift not freely given?

 **Aquaman's POV**

"You should eat Kaldur."

"I know."

"Have you tried since breakfast?"

"I have not."

"Are you hungry?"

"I am not."

I managed to hold in a sigh.

"Your team have no assignments until further notice. I suggest you take this time to focus on yourself."

His head quickly snapped to mines. His eyes possessed an anger that was not common to him.

"Do you believe me incapable of leading this team after all?"

"That is not it Kaldur'ahm. I only wish to give you time to sort things out."

He took a few moments before responding. And when he did, it was in a steely tone.

"I hope you will not find offence to what I am about to say my king, but I will be fine without your _assistance_. I have done it once before. I do not require therapy with Black Canary. These things happened quite some time ago. I am not as weak as I was then. I am a skilled warrior now, if you will pardon my forwardness. No one suspected-"

I had to stop him.

There were several problems with what he was saying.

"You were not weak Kaldur. You are not weak now either. What you have done is bury your feelings and bottle them. I do not have to tell you how detrimental that is. As for no one suspecting, I wish they had. I wish you had not have had to have gone through this. You did nothing wrong."

He seemed even _more_ angry.

"I did! I did _everything_ wrong. I was at the top of my classes. Had the best scores. The most debates won, but I never managed to feel _adequate_ enough. I was always trying to be _better_. Not for myself, but for _them_. That is pathetic. I wanted to be so good, that they would leave me alone. To be someone so good that they would not _want_ to hurt me. Because it would be a sin to damage something so good."

I had to gather my thoughts on that one. It appears to me that he has a low self-esteem.

It is an easy thing to overlook from someone who excels at everything. Kaldur'ahm is not a proud person. He takes pride in his work, but he is not proud. He shares the success of his missions and takes all the blame for the failures. This is what makes him a great leader. It is also why he does not want the position. Not because he believes there is someone better suited for the job, but that he is not worthy of the title.

He told me as much.

Being leader is hard and lonely. Those under you look to you for guidance, but who do you look to?

"Kaldur. I believe I am out of my depth here. In my earnest opinion, I would speak to Black Canary. She has training in these particular matters. I am sorry I can not be of more help to you, but as your guardian on the surface I will do my best."

He just looked anxious.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

It just hit me that the League knows. They _know_. If today was any indication to go by, I would _never_ tell the team. They could barely _look_ at me. No one knew what to say. They will see me differently.

Before I left the army to serve Annex Orin, Kordax and Topo cornered me. They made me swear an oath to never tell anyone what happened. Not that I would be believed. They promised in turn to never tell a soul.

I never imagined it would get out. Why would any of them endanger their careers? _I_ was certainly never going to say anything. I was going to take it to my grave.

The more I thought about it, the more I thought talking to Canary would not be such a bad thing.

If nothing else, she might be able to give me tips on speaking to my parents and getting more sleep. That is all I can hope for.

"Forgive me my king. I know you are acting in my best interest. I have the sudden urge to speak to Black Canary. May I be excused? Before I lose the courage?"

Aquaman seemed to relax a little.

"Would you like me to take you there?"

"That will not be necessary."

"Very well."

I never remembered it taking so long to get to the door. I walked out into the empty hallway and made a bee line for Canary's office. The entire time I was thinking about my father. My mother was a different matter. She was kind. She was forgiving. She understood me where others did not.

My father. Calvin. It was just _different_. He was in the army. Not the Atlantean one, but an army all the same. There was the possibility that he would not understand. I do not believe he would blame me, but he might not forgive me for not telling him.

I knocked on Canary's door.

She opened it and looked surprised to see me.

"Oh. I was going to call for you."

"Is this not a good time?" I felt foolish. Just because I was ready does not mean she was.

"I can come back-"

"No. Now is fine. I just thought you might want some more time to yourself. Sit. Make yourself comfortable."

I took the seat furthest from her desk. If she noticed, she did not mention it.

"Gratitude. For seeing me."

Her eyes looked sad.

Before we could get started Wonder Woman opened the door. She looked slightly worried at my presence.

"Young warrior. Excuse the disruption. I will come back later."

My nerves were shot.

"It is alright. I can come back at a more prudent time."

"It's all well. You were here first. I will take my leave."

It was just me and Canary again.

 **Black Canary's POV**

"Kaldur'ahm, whatever you tell me will stay in here. I take my professional oaths just as seriously as my heroic ones."

It seemed to put him at ease. Slightly.

"I would like to ask for your…professional opinion on maintaining a positive sleep schedule. I cannot seem to keep the night terrors at bay. They were not as severe as they used to be, but I had 3 of them just last night. I barely managed to escape Aquaman's attention."

That was one problem I would have to address. He should not feel like he was burdening Aquaman. If I know Arthur at all, then I know he would _want_ to be aware of any problems Kaldur was having.

"Kaldur. Before we talk about things that can help you sleep I want to address something you just said."

He simply nodded at me.

"You should never feel like you are burdening someone because you are telling them how you feel or are asking for help. Least of all Aquaman. He has a duty to you beyond one of king. He is your mentor and friend. He wants to help you. That is the _least_ he can do. Do you understand."

"It is not that I feel like he would be burdened, but my problems are burdensome. He should not have to deal with them. If I can solve something on my own, I find it is better to do so."

Okay. This child has a serious self-sacrificing problem.

"Kaldur. Problems are _problematic_ by nature. Everyone has them. Everyone needs help sometimes. You do not have to carry them all on your own. Your family, friends, and loved ones will be willing to help."

He looked like he wanted to believe me.

"As far as sleeping goes, there is nothing absolute. I can tell you things that are likely to help, but it is not a guarantee that you will sleep soundly."

"This is acceptable."

Always so formal. I used to think he was just like that around the adults, but I have walked in several times when he was talking to one of the other kids and his speech is consistent.

"Try to relax before you go to sleep. Do not attempt to just fall asleep. Avoid taking naps. It will only make it harder for you to sleep at night. Also, don't force it. If you can't sleep do something relaxing. Maybe take a quick swim until you calm down. Try soothing music like the sound of the ocean. It has been known to have calming effects."

He was staring at me intently.

Of all of my patients he is the most attentive. He takes all of my advice to heart. Aquaman told me that healers of all kinds in Atlantis are highly favored and respected.

"I will take your advice."

"Is there anything else you wanted to talk about? I'm all ears. I want you to feel comfortable telling me anything."

I did not want to bring up his rape. I was not even sure that is what he considered it. It was important to follow his lead and let him open up to me.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

I need to focus on my breathing. I have been overly anxious since this morning. I cannot seem to find a balance.

This could be potentially dangerous to me. I have electricity flowing through my body. Without proper sleep the magic I have in me could backup and I would shut down. The army was good at enforcing bed times. They just were not good at making sure no one got you out of your bunk.

"It is my parents. My father specifically. He is a good man. Strong. Brave. Fights for what he believes in. He taught me everything I know."

I took a deep breath and steadied my voice.

"I…am afraid he will be disappointed in me."

I rushed to defend my father before she got the wrong idea.

"I do not believe he will blame me for…anything. But there is a chance that he will be upset that I did not tell him. My reasons may not matter to him. How can I ensure that he will forgive me for my betrayal? Even my mother will be hurt that I did not feel I could go to her."

My hands were clenching and unclenching.

"I know they would have believed me and stepped in, but I still did not tell them. There are things I never want them to know. I do not want them to see me as a different person because of this. I worry things will never be the same."

 **Black Canary's POV**

It is so much harder to be professional with someone you work with. Someone you train on a daily basis.

Batman showed us the video when Aquaman was speaking to Kaldur to determine the validity of the man's claims. Unfortunately, they were found to be true.

I had to take a few breaths myself.

Kaldur, for all his adult mannerisms, was a child. A child who was afraid that his parents would not completely understand. Would be disappointed in him. My end goal is to get Kaldur to lift all blame from himself. To come to the realization that none of it was his fault.

There are several people he _could_ blame, but that is not his way. He prefers to accept all responsibility, even if it is not his to bear.

I moved in front of him and took his hands.

"Kaldur. You do not have to push yourself. When and if you decide to tell your parents, do it on your terms. Go to a place _you_ feel comfortable. Tell them what you want and not anything more. Remember that it is not your fault. You don't control other people's emotions or reactions. It is okay to cry, get upset, leave, take a break. Whatever you need. This is about you and your comfort."

He turned away from me.

"Your parents very well may have questions, but based on what you told me of them, they will understand. They will be upset, but not with you. With them. When are you planning on talking to them?"

"Tomorrow. I do not want to prolong this. They need to be told so that I can concentrate on other things."

"Kaldur-"

"I do not wish to think of these dark things for longer than I have to. I lived it for _years_. There is nothing I do not remember about it. I put it behind me. I want everyone to get to a place where they are not on _egg shells_ around me."

I could not say those words. What is was. I know, but I so not want to know.

I suddenly had enough of talking. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to swim aimlessly and think about nothing. Maybe if I tired myself out, I could sleep tonight.

I stood up to leave.

 **Black Canary's POV**

Kaldur'ahm suddenly stood up and made to leave.

"Kaldur, are you okay?"

"I would like to leave now. I have things to think about."

He left without waiting for me to respond. I can't say I wasn't shocked. I know situations like these make people behave out of their norms, but Kaldur was _always_ so patient.

In any case I will let him work through things alone for now. After all, he did come to me.

I made a note that he avoided saying the word _rape_ or _assault_.

I could not be the first person to use these terms. He had to say it first, and when he did I had to reaffirm it once or twice.

I am aware of how males tend to view sexual assault and their masculinity. I am not familiar with Atlantean customs, but I will have to ask Aquaman a few things about their gender roles.

They way he talked about his abuse was somewhat disturbing. He was distancing himself from it. As if he was not the boy it happened to.

Without giving details I had to let the League know the general synopsis of Kaldur's psyche. They needed to know if he was cleared to do his job and if he was a threat to himself.

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 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

Calvin Durham.

It was not common to name people Jr. or to share their exact name in Atlantis. Atlanteans did not have last names. In order to compromise his culture with ours my mother made my name a mixture of his first and _last_ name.

 _Kaldur'ahm._

It only brought us closer. It was just one more thing that made us similar.

He was big Cal. I was little Kal. Not so little anymore. We were the same height now. He had more muscle definition, but I would get there in due time.

I went to the pool that was installed in my room and swam for hours. Doing everything _but_ thinking.


	6. Chapter 6

Kaldur talks to his parents and Aquaman confides in Mera.

This has definitely been the hardest chapter for me to write thus far. I wanted each character to have an independent voice, and some were just harder to grasp than others. I hope I managed to keep them in character-ish at least. I try not to bore you guys. This one is a little longer than the other ones.

I do not own anything Young Justice related. Same triggers apply.

For any of those wondering if I am going to include Black Manta well…we will see. Tee hee hee.

Please don't forget to COMMENT

 **Aquaman's POV**

Superman and Batman were sitting across from me in the shuttle. We were the only ones here. I needed to vent and Canary and Wonder Woman said they would look after Kaldur. They could not do any worse than I have managed.

How could I not see that _something_ was off kilter?

It certainly explained some of his more persistent behaviors.

Kaldur was always so reserved. I wrote it off as reverence for his king with a healthy dose of admiration.

He was always humble, just short of self-deprecating. I ascribed it to his modest upbringing.

He was overly efficient, and took every deviation to heart. I lauded him for it. I was so blinded by his desire to succeed that I overlooked his fear of failure.

He would eat _anything_. I thought it was because he was a growing boy. I use to _tease_ him about it. I called him a bottom feeder once. I cannot forgive myself for that. I never considered an _eating disorder_. I never considered that he might not have had a lot to eat as a child. That he could not _afford_ to be picky.

He avoided group sleep. Soldiers would sleep in groups of twenty wherever they dropped. It boosted morale and reminded them of their days in army school. It was optional, but most warriors enjoyed it.

I thought it was because he did not have many friends that he slept alone. Night terrors never crossed my mind.

He was a private person. I respected that. I even admired it. Usually children that young did not keep their counsel. I never thought it could be because he had so much to hide.

There was so much about Kaldur that I overlooked, disregarded, or either completely ignored.

What kind of a mentor am I?

How could I help mend a child that I helped break?

 **Superman's POV**

Aquaman looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep. I know I sure hadn't. It was hard listening to that man _brag_ about what he did. What _they_ did.

How could anyone be proud of such a vile act?

I had never spoken to Kaldur for more than a few seconds at a time, but he seemed like a real swell kid.

I can understand keeping a secret from loved ones for fear they would reject you. For the better part of my teen years I hid who I was from my closest friends. I alternated between resenting my powers, and resenting the human race for their smaller power potential and closed-mindedness about _aliens_. I hated that word.

I'm not one to encourage keeping a secret, especially one that could be personally detrimental, but I _understand_. I've been abducted before and I always feel so humiliated after. I'm big. I'm powerful. I'm _literally_ super strong.

These things were not supposed to happen to me.

I was the one the team relied on for heavy artillery, and if I failed, well…things got complicated.

How can I insist that Kaldur, a _teenager_ , confess to his parents when I was able to keep my secret well past my youth?

It seemed hypocritical to me.

The only thing that convinced me it would be best for Aqualad to talk to his parents is the fact that this _type_ of secret has the power to consume you. Kaldur needed to come to terms with his past, and if telling his parents was a first step in that direction then I was all in.

 **Batman's POV**

It makes me sick. It makes me _physically_ sick. How can an adult be sexually attracted to a child? I know it happens, but I don't _get_ it. But of course that's the point. I'm not _supposed_ to get it. I _should_ be sickened. I _should_ be angry at these predators.

It's situations like these that serve as a reminder as to why I took up the cowl in the first place.

I would enjoy nothing better than giving these four men the bat-treatment, but I had to keep this in Atlantis. I didn't want to make Kaldur's life any harder than it was now.

I could see a lot of myself in him when I was his age.

I was determined to do _everything_ right, but it made it harder for me to accept defeats.

I strived for perfection, but it made me less open to taking chances.

I don't trust anyone I work with _enough_ because their immortality is _always_ at the forefront of my mind, and it means I put _myself_ in the most dangerous situations.

Kaldur is young still. I do not want him to become like me.

Burdened by a tragedy that often times is my sole motivation for fighting crime. I am not jaded, not yet anyways. There is nothing worse than a jaded hero.

Crime stoping becomes more about the fight, and less about the greater good of the people.

 _Vengeance_. It's something I can never truly escape. I did not kill the man who took my parents life, but it was the main reason I became Batman in the first place. I wanted to take out bad guys, because I couldn't save my family from one.

I don't want Kaldur to stick with Aqualad because he couldn't stop what was happening to him. I want his reasons to be as uncorrupted as he is.

As much as he reminds me of myself, there are differences too.

I am not self-sacrificing without thinking of every possible solution out of the predicament first. Kaldur'ahm will put himself in harms way _every_ time if it means the rest of the team makes it to safety.

I do not lack ambition. It has blinded me before and I'm sure it will again. It is why Superman is the official leader of the Justice League. He has _no_ desire to be more than that. He is not tempted in the ways that I am.

Kaldur'ahm is like that too. There is room for improvement, but he leads well. He just doesn't _want_ to lead. He only took the position because he was elected. He would never have chosen it for himself. I have deduced that it is because he doesn't consider himself fit for the title. He couldn't be further from the truth.

 **Aquaman's POV**

The silence was thick. It was clear what was on all of our minds.

"I think Kaldur'ahm might be pushing himself too fast telling his parents so soon. And I know him… _somewhat_."

It hurt to admit that.

"If he changes his mind on the way there, he will not tell me. He will suffer in silence and go through with it anyways. On the slim chance that he _does_ change his mind, he would likely _never_ get around to telling them again because he would never think he would be ready again. I want to caution him to wait, but he is _insistent_ that he does not prolong things. I can not bring myself to refuse him in this."

Superman tapped his pen on the table and suggested I reassure him in _plain words_ that it is okay to change his mind.

Batman merely nodded his consent.

"I must confess that there is something I cannot get off of my mind." They both looked at me intently.

I sat back in my chair and rubbed the side of my neck.

"His gill infection."

Superman squirmed a little, and Batman grimaced.

"Do you know how many… _oral deposits_ it would take to infect gills? They are _literal_ filters. Do you understand how difficult it would be to clog them even theoretically? Atlanteans have survived the BP oil spill, dirty fish hooks, and toxic plastic residue for decades now, and those with gills were hardly affected. Gill infection itself is easily treatable, but left uncared for and it becomes increasingly fatal. You could drown underwater. In order for him to need both a liquid and solid seaweed treatment, it means he kept his infection to himself for some time. He could have _died_. He literally could have died. The worst part is that he never _actually_ told anyone he had the infection. One of his bunk mates found out when he woke up with his neck swollen. If they had not noticed him, he _would_ have died. I cannot shake that thought."

Kaldur was like a surrogate son to me. Me and Mera both.

It was no secret we had trouble conceiving, but even if we had not, we would still see Kaldur'ahm the same. I have known him for years and I have come to both trust and respect him.

"I have thoroughly failed him. I hate to even entertain the thought, but we should anticipate his swift removal from the team. His parents might not want him to stay and even as king, I am bound legally to comply. He is a minor and his parents are fit."

Sha'lain'a will never forgive me. Calvin will probably try to take things into his own hands, and I am not so sure I would be willing to stop him.

 **Batman's POV**

I have a no-kill rule. There have only been a handful of times where I really questioned that decision.

This was one of them.

I am not well versed in Atlantean physiology.

I believed a gill infection to be the equivalent of a human's strep throat. I can see now just how off I was.

I cannot imagine Kaldur was unaware of the severity of a gill infection and all that it entailed. I cannot imagine…no, I do not _want_ to imagine Kaldur so scared to ask for medical attention that he would chance his own life.

These men will pay. Thoroughly.

 ***Back at Mt. Justice***

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

Swimming for a few hours straight helped me to relax a little. I wanted to be at my best when I talked to my parents.

I still had not managed to eat. I did not think it wise. I preferred to try to eat lightly the next morning because if I knew my mother at all, she would try to feed me when I arrived.

I had a lot I was putting out of my mind.

I promised my mother I would stay safe. Even though this happened years ago, she might not see it that way. If she wanted me to leave the team, I would. The only problem is that I still want to be Aqualad.

This is why I have to start doing better. I have to get sleep and eat well. My future depended on it.

I got out of the tank and tried to get some sleep. Me and Aquaman had a long journey ahead of us.

/

 ***The next morning** *

 **Aquaman's POV**

I woke Kaldur before dawn. He did not want to run into any of the League. I offered him breakfast and he picked over an egg. I decided not to mention it. His nerves were probably in overdrive right now.

We Zeta'd to the capitol, but Shayeris was an hour and a half out of the way by Sea Horse. I told the guards we were on private business and to keep it to themselves. My people were loyal.

Kaldur was a bucket of nerves next to me. It was clear he did not want to talk, and I did not try to make him. This was hard enough.

"You know you can change your mind right? If you do not feel up for it today, we can try another time. It is okay to change your mind. I am concerned about your state of mind. You need not push yourself."

If it was possible he turned even further away from me in his seat. He was committed to following through with this.

I did not try to speak to him again.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

The ride to Shayeris was torture. It seemed strange that I was passing familiar landmarks like it was a normal trip home for me.

Nothing about this trip was normal.

The only time I had ever traveled to Shayeris with my king was when we went to ask my parents blessing for me to be Aqualad.

This was not the same. I was excited the last time. I could not wait to get home. To tell my parents of the good news.

I could not wait to escape the hold the army had on me. I chose Aqualad and Garth chose Sorcery.

But this trip was not like that one. This one was not a happy one, but I would remember it all the same.

I could not refrain from reminiscing about my childhood with my parents. It was a loving and supportive one.

Me and my father joined the gulf preservation team when I was 10 and volunteered for 6 _weeks_ to the cause. We helped clean up the oil and preserve the marine life that was in danger there. It was a real father-son bonding trip.

My father told me it was important to protect your home.

I can remember when me and my other would go oyster hunting for dinner. We could have just bought them from the market, but it was more fun diving for our food. It was a common activity for parents to do with their children.

She made it so fun.

I can remember sitting on top of my father's shoulders watching the annual Tritonian parade. There was music, food, glittery shells, and wonderful live performances. There were children swimming through the crowds and catching the shells that were being thrown and catching them in little pails. Whoever had the most would win a small prize. It was a great way to keep the younger children's attention.

There were so many memories. So many lessons in them.

Although the memory is not one I can remember well, I was only 3 at the time, I went to Mississippi a few times. It is where my father's mother lives. She was my _gramma_. I could not visit more often because it is so hot and dry there. But I can remember eating ice cream, going fishing in the lake behind her house, and waiting out thunderstorms in the dark. I never did understand why we had to cut all of the lights off, but it was fun. She would sing and tell me stories about my father's childhood. They were funny. She passed away a year later from old age. My mother and father keep up her house. My mother never went with us on those trips.

She was not an Atlantean that could tolerate air for very long. She would sit for hours and listen while I told her about the things that I saw, the things I ate, and the strange phrases people used.

We were always a close family.

And this trip could change all of that. At least I could find comfort in the memories.

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 **Sha'lain'a's POV**

My heart is heavy and I do not know why. It was one of those days where you waited for something to go bad. I had my theories about what it could be.

Calvin was fine. I was fine. So that only left Kaldur'ahm. I hoped he would be alright. He is my only child. I do not know how me and Calvin could get on without him.

I got up to find Calvin.

He was going over our family finances. He was good at numbers and organization. He was an _accountant_ on the surface and then he quit to join David. He fell for his lies. He was not the only one.

"My love."

He turned to me and gave me the smile that caught my heart the first time. After all these years it had never dulled.

His brow crinkled. He had picked up on my distress. He was soft spoken and a man of few words. He always anticipated my needs.

 **Calvin's POV**

"Is there something bothering you? You seem worried?"

My Sha'lain'a was leaning against the door, her eyes distant. I could tell something was bothering her.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

It was better to cloak people in silence and let them tell you what they wanted you to know.

Her reply was unsteady.

"I have this strange feeling that Kaldur'ahm is in trouble. He needs us."

I knew to take her seriously. She always worried about Kal, and she was always on point. If she felt the need to check up on him, we would.

Before I could reply there was a knock at the door. It was Kal and Orin. Technically he was Annex Orin, but it was weird to think of him as a king.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

Time passed by quickly. Too quickly. We were at my parent's faster than I wanted.

"Do you still want me to go in with you?"

My king shook me out of my reverie. I did want him here. Maybe not in the room with us, but close enough to get me out if I needed to leave.

"Will you stand in the hall?

He looked like he wanted to say something, but he just gave a half smile and nodded instead.

We got to the door and my parents opened it. They were not surprised to see me, but they did appear nervous at my presence.

"Mother. Father."

My mother was the first to hug me. She kissed my cheek as she always does. My father clasped my shoulder and gave it a gentle shake.

"Kaldur'ahm. Are you well? Have you eaten?"

I wanted to lie to my mother and tell her yes, but I could not. I went for a partial truth.

"I skipped breakfast, but I am not hungry."

Truthfully I was hungry, but my body was telling me that I would not keep it down. I listened to my body.

"May we sit?"

There was a flurry of movement. They acknowledged Aquaman with a head nod. They could tell we were not here for pleasant conversation. We regrouped in the visiting area.

Aquaman looked out of place.

"I will wait in the hall."

Instead of a response my parents just turned to me.

This was the moment of truth. I did not know what to say to them. I just know that I needed to say it.

I was sitting in between them. Normally I would draw comfort from such an action, but now it only served to make me more aware of what I needed to tell them.

"I…have something to tell you both that I have kept a secret until now."

They seemed slightly alarmed. I never kept anything from them. Not anything big.

"I do not… _wish_ …to go into specifics. I just need to tell you."

The tension in the room was thick. My mother tried to comfort me.

"You can tell us anything Kaldur'ahm. We will always be here for you."

That is exactly what was bothering me. I _know_ I can tell them anything. They would want to know why I did not. Especially about something like this.

"I know I can."

I shamefully started crying. It was all too much.

My father hugged me.

"We're right here Kal. Take your time."

That only made me cry harder. I was trying to get through this and was making a big mess of it. My mother was a bundle of nerves. I was one of those kids who would go off alone if I had to cry. Seeing me all but sobbing must have frightened her.

"I do not know where to begin. I will just say it."

I was silent for a full minute. I had never said the word. I did not want to say it now, but it would paint the fullest picture.

"In the army…shortly after I got there, a few of my trainers took an interest in me. I was grateful enough for their attention. I had no friends and craved real conversation. Things were okay for a while."

I stared at a spot on the coral table.

"They… _raped_ me."

If they were not sitting so close to me they would not have heard me. My throat was itchy and my leg would not stop bouncing.

I heard them both gasp. My mother hugged me and my father followed suit. I just sat there and wept.

 **Sha'lain'a's POV**

How could I have not known? What kind of mother does not see this? How long had this gone on? Who were these people. He said _they_? More than one? I could barely breathe. I vowed to protect my son from all harm and I could not have failed anymore than I did.

He was probably angry with me. For not seeing. For not keeping my promise to him.

 **Calvin's POV**

I didn't think it was possible for my heart to break so quickly. What kind of father have I been that he did not feel comfortable telling me? I know I could have been better. I should have shown him more affection. I strived to be better than my own dad.

He never _told_ me he loved me.

I knew he did, but after he died I questioned it. I didn't want to be like him and leave anything up for question.

Kal is a good kid and an even better son. I can only imagine how angry he was with me for not protecting him. I always told him it was my job. A job that I would go out of my way to do.

No wonder he skipped so many family visits during his time in the army. He was disappointed in me for not saving him. I would never be able to gain that trust back.

My body was wracked with silent sobs. I may have lost my son.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

I had never seen my father cry before. I did not know how to handle it. I heard a shuffling out in the hall. Aquaman had went outside. It was for the better. I did not want him to see us like this.

I looked up and asked the question I did not think I could bear the answer to.

"Are you ashamed?"

There was a brief pause, but the fierceness in my mother's eyes calmed me.

Her hands were over her mouth while she tried to wipe the tears from her own eyes.

" _Never_. I could _never_ be ashamed of you. You did nothing wrong."

My father found his voice.

"You are my son. There is nothing you could do that would make me ashamed of you. I want you to rid yourself of the very _thought_. You aren't held liable for other people's wrong doings. I thank you. For telling us."

 **Sha'lain'a's POV**

I wanted to kill the ones who did this. For what they put my son through. When he asked if we were ashamed, I know he was aiming that more towards Calvin. What had they said to him? I wanted to ask questions but I did not want to harm him.

 _Ashamed of him._

How could I ever bring myself to be ashamed of him? I worry for him. I am proud of him. I support him. But shame?

When he was born he was the only consolation I had that not everything about David was bad. I was not the dumbest person in the world. Something good came out of our union.

He was such a good baby. He kept me going. Gave me something to look forward to. Shame is not something I could have.

 **Calvin's POV**

I had questions. I just don't know how to approach them.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

"There is more."

I steadied my breath.

"I must confess. I was planning on taking this to my grave. I would have never told. I would ask your forgiveness for not telling you sooner."

"No. Kal. Do not ask for forgiveness. You are not to blame here."

"Kaldur'ahm. I beg _you_ for forgiveness. For not seeing. How can a mother miss such a thing?"

I could barely look my mom in the eyes, but I managed.

"Mother. You could not have known. I went to great lengths to make sure no one would. It is because of my _own_ deceit that I am here today-"

My father was having none of it.

"Kaldur'ahm. _Please_ don't say that. You were not being deceitful. I am sure you have your reasons for telling us now. I don't hold that against you. Neither does your mother."

My mother squeezed my hand.

"We only wish to help you. You are so brave. Braver than me. I know if this was me, I would have never found the courage to tell my dad. I can only be grateful that you have your mother's bravery instead of mines."

I do not deserve them. They were so patient. So understanding. I am riddled with guilt for ever doubting them.

"So you are not disappointed in my not telling you?"

My father answered while my mother smoothed down the tufts of hair at the nape of my neck.

"Kaldur, I will be honest. I wish you had come to us. If only to have put a stop to them sooner, but I am not _disappointed_ that you didn't. I am disappointed that I can not do more. Do you understand?"

Canary was correct in her assessment. My parents truly blamed me for nothing. I could not ask for better ones.

"Yes father. Gratitude."

No one said anything for a while. I just sat squished in between them. My mother rubbing comforting circles in my hair and my father with a strong arm wrapped around my shoulders.

I cleared my throat.

"One of them is in custody. He told the League of his actions against me. I was… _forced_ to confess. He is in part why I am here today. The League has made it a priority to punish him in Atlantis. Annex Orin and the others have formulated a plan to apprehend the others."

I continued before my father could ask questions.

"I am afraid I do not know the details. I _asked_ to be left out of them."

I risked a glance at my father but his eyes were just as understanding as ever.

"I am sure you have _questions_. I only request that you not ask for _specifics_. I am not… _ready…_ for that."

I braced myself.

 **Calvin's POV**

He gave us an opening. I was not sure how much to ask him so I took the direct approach. He was never one for idle talk.

"Where you concerned we might not believe you?"

I had to know. I know how these things worked on the surface. Children were typically threatened into silence. I wanted to reassure Kal that we would have always believed him.

"No. I knew you would. I just thought you might be upset that I did not tell you. We had that talk before. About telling you guys _anything_. I just thought it would be best not to."

"Why?"

He seems hesitant at this.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

I knew they would want to know why I did not say anything. I wish I had an answer planned.

It is not a well known fact that I am employed by the Crown to be Aqualad. I have no need for the money so I opted to have it sent directly to my parents.

They refused to use it, but we still had it if we ever needed it.

I wanted to help out my family. When I was in the army I was gifted a scholarship. It paid for my formal education along with room and board. Without it my parents would have struggled to keep me in military school and take care of themselves.

Arion and Kordax told me they would lower my scores so that I would lose it if I said anything. They were like that. Always threatening me unnecessarily. I was never going to say anything.

I told my parents a shorter variation of this.

My father put his forehead to mines and made me keep eye contact.

"Kal. We would never choose money over you. Do not feel the need to remain Aqualad because of us."

My mother seconded that.

"We want you to be at peace with your decision. We will stand by whatever you decide."

I was relieved they had not demanded I give up being Aqualad so that they could keep a closer eye out on me.

Regardless, I wanted to stay for the night. My parents needed to see me as much as I needed them within visual range.

/

*Outside*

 **Aquaman's POV**

While Kaldur spoke with his parents I called Mera by tele-orb. I gave her a very brief version of the situation.

"Your family is from Poseidonis. You have just as many connections as Arion. I ask that you subtly call on them. We need to have him stripped of his titles without the treasury being influenced."

"Of course. You need not ask. I care for Kaldur'ahm. I cannot believe this has escaped the attention of so many. What if there are others?"

"We will cross that bridge should we come across it. For now the plan is to liquidize a portion of his personal assets and spread them among the victims. Besides therapy, there is not much we can do at this point."

"Poor Kaldur. I cannot imagine his fear. He was always so…stable."

I understood where she was coming from. I too had saw his accomplishments and looked no further.

/

After the conversation with my wife Kaldur'ahm came out and asked if it was okay to spend the night with his parents. As if I would have possibly told him no.

He bade me farewell with plans to Zeta back home the next afternoon. I told him to take as much time as he needed. I would fill the League in on his absence.

/

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

The rest of the day passed by peacefully enough. My mother got me to eat. We mostly sat in each other's company while I answered whatever questions they had.

I am glad they did not push for specifics. But there was something that was bothering me. The look in my father's eyes when he thought I was not watching. I knew what he was thinking.

He wanted to harm Dardanus. He was probably thinking of ways to convince Annex Orin to see him. Normally I would not have worried, but I am not confident that my king would not allow him.

We spent the night together. On the couch in the visiting area. It was a bit embarrassing. I am 6 foot and squished between my parents drawing comfort from their close proximity.

Their steady breathing calmed me to sleep. A huge weight was lifted off my chest.

I woke up from a nightmare.

I did not want to talk about it. They wanted to push the issue but they respected my boundaries.

It was _that_ one.

The one where Topo took me to his room and used his mouth.

I acted terribly. I had done it for him plenty of times, but no one had ever reciprocated before then.

I had awakened from a night terror and went to the library to calm my mind. He was there. He asked me why I was up. I told him I could not sleep. He knew the truth behind it and guided me to his room.

I was resentful for that. He was the reason for my lack of sleep. Would he, knowing that, use me again?

But it was different that time.

He laid me on his bed with a patience he seldom showed and pulled my sleeping tunic up to my stomach. _Underwear_ is not a thing Atlanteans bother with.

I did not know what he was about to do. I was… _pleasantly_ surprised.

He brought his head to my lap and took me into his mouth. I was easily stimulated. It was not long before I was squirming on the bed. Making shameful noises. Trying to catch my breath. Quietly begging.

 _Please. Topo. Please._

He was amused.

When I spilled my essence, he merely swallowed it. Put my tunic down and took me back to my bunk.

I had never felt so confused. I should not have liked it. I knew that much, but I liked the feel of his _mouth_. Instead of falling to sleep, I did magical squares in my head until dawn.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

When I woke up the next morning I forced myself to sleep. I spent the day with my parents setting _personal boundaries_.

They wanted to know how much I could handle without upsetting me.

I left that evening feeling more relaxed than I had in days.

They tried to get me to stay, but I had some apprehension about that. I know that I _can_ rely on them, but I also did not want to.

I wanted to ease my nerves before I went back to Mt. Justice. I zeta'd outside of the mountain and made my way to city.

It was a trip I took several times before.

I made it to the worn building and went to the third floor.

I knocked and the door opened.

"Hello my friend."

Roy only looked mildly surprised to see me.


	7. Chapter 7

Kaldur and Roy hang out.

Sorry for the slooooow update.

NOTE: for those reading/following Band Aid Effect I am still working on it. I have **not** abandoned it.

Same warnings apply. Please read the tags.

Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice or its characters.

PLEASE don't forget to leave kudos & COMMENT.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

Roy's apartment was…sparse. And cluttered. At the same time. It was a strange dichotomy that fit his person well.

He had about 6 red shirts and 5 black ones. Three pairs of jeans and 2 pairs of shoes. It was his entire wardrobe. It had always managed to shock me that so few clothing items could be strewn about so casually.

I myself had few cloths. My suit made it unnecessary. However, the few civilian clothes I did own were stored away neatly.

It is important to take care of your possessions.

Roy Harper was not of the same mentality.

Aside from his clothes, he had random magazines, arrows, and empty food containers piled on the center of his coffee table.

I would usually not be able to stop myself from straightening up the place or at least washing a few dishes, but today I had other things on my mind.

I did not come here to _talk_.

I wanted to patrol with a friend that would not ask questions.

I was tired of the League members _looking_ at me.

Roy would only think this was another one of my random visits I took when I needed to get away from Mt. Justice.

I do not have a personal problem with anyone on the team, but I _am_ the oldest.

Robin is 13. Wally is 15 and Robin's best friend. I was always the third wheel there. M'gann and Connor are completely wrapped up in each other, Artemis is still too guarded to seek a friendship, and of course there is the issue that my best friend does not care for her.

Roy's hair is the personification of his character.

He is fire.

He embodies fire and all that it entails. He has the tendency to escalate things. Roy is hot headed, stubborn, and proud. But he is also creative, passionate, motivated, and action-driven.

He makes mistakes like we all do. He will deny aid in his endeavors, but when he gets in over his head he always calls for back up. He is impulsive.

He will dive head first into the water.

He is one of those people you have to take whole. You either accept every part of him, or none of him.

If Roy's hair personifies his character, then my eyes personify mines.

I am water.

I take shape of the situation around me. It has aided in my escape and victory many times. I am calm, introspective, and practical. I try to understand others and be a good ear for them.

But, like Roy, I too have my many faults.

I soak up the negative feelings around me. It overwhelms me and makes me anxious. It leaves me questioning myself and doubting my ability to lead. It is in my nature to brood. To look at everything and analyze it again and again.

I forget sometimes that I am deserving of gratitude.

In order to balance my life, I added a little fire.

 **Roy's POV**

Kal has been my good friend for the past few years now. When I first met him I thought he was little more than a drone.

I couldn't stand the guy.

He was so _uptight_. So frigid. So formal.

It was always "yes my king", "with all due respect my liege", and "pardon me". The guy lacked a personality.

He was always so _calm._

It irritated the hell out of me. I used to take pleasure in trying to rile him up. I only garnered little success.

I don't know when it went from "annoy the fish out of water" to "why don't we make inside jokes about our mentors to pass the time," but it marked the beginning of our friendship.

When he showed up at my place I could tell something was off. He looked disturbed. I was use to him dropping by randomly. Our jobs didn't leave a lot of room for _planned_ free time.

I remember the first time he stopped by my place. It was the only time I was surprised by his presence.

***flashback***

Kaldur was standing in my door way awkwardly, waiting for me to allow him entrance. He clasped his hands and held them in front of him. His head was slightly bowed.

"Hello my friend."

I only raised a brow. Kaldur had never been to my place before. I hadn't even told him where I lived. It must have been Robin.

I stepped aside.

"Shut it behind you."

He briskly walked in and closed the door behind him. I was worried he was going to be awkward the whole time he was here so I tried to make him relax.

"Want something to drink?"

He seemed wary.

"It is not one of your inhibitor's is it?"

It took me a second to realize he was asking if I was offering him alcohol. I couldn't control my laughter.

"It's not alcohol Kal. It's soda. I promise you'll be completely _hibited_ after you drink it. Sides, I'm not even old enough to drink."

He gave me one of his knowing smirks.

"I didn't say I _don't_ drink. Just that I'm not old enough to."

He smiled for the first time since he got there.

I could tell his mind was on something, but he wasn't in the mood for talking. It was probably about me leaving the team.

"I am not sure how these things work. I am still learning your customs."

"There are no rules to hanging out with a friend Kaldur. You do whatever you want really. It's not a formal thing."

We'd been down this road before. Atlantean society was very structured and everything had rules. I had to explain to him that American society was more go with the flow.

"I see."

I _really_ looked at him this time. His eyes had a slight grey tint under them. His hair, while short, was a little frayed at the ends. His posture was more rigid than usual. He was tired and being overworked.

But would he ever think to complain to Aquaman that he needed a break? Of course not. And Aquaman was like Batman in that since, you had to be near death or have a mental break down for them to see that you were overwhelmed.

I made the unanimous decision to take him to the movies.

He had never seen one and seemed to enjoy it. He took the rules seriously about no talking and turning of your cell phones.

He had popcorn for the first time. He drenched it in butter and pepper which resulted in him switching with me.

We watched Cloud Atlas. I noticed he blushed every time Halle Berry's character Luisa Rey was on the screen.

I teased him about it on the way home. He blushed and desperately tried to get me to change the subject. I took pity on him, but not before he threatened me form telling the guys.

All in all, it was a good day and Kaldur'ahm had relaxed.

***End Flashback***

I decided not to beat around the bush.

"You look like shit."

I was rewarded with the most strained smile I had ever seen from him. He would have normally made some type of sarcastic comment about the messiness of my apartment by now. He looked troubled. Deeply troubled. More than when he told me about Tula and Garth.

"Hey man you wanna sit down?"

He took a few seconds to answer.

"I do not."

I was guessing now.

"You wanna eat?"  
He shook his head no.

"You wanna talk?"

"I…do not know what I want."

That was alarming. What was even more alarming was the fact that his comm had just went off and he either really didn't hear it beeping in his ear, or he was totally out of it.

"I'm going to answer your comm okay?"

He just looked at me. Since he didn't try to stop me I took his comm out of his ear and answered it.

 _"_ _Aqualad?"_

It was Aquaman. He sounded worried.

"Red Arrow."

I could hear his breath of relief.

 _"_ _Is he alright?"_

A warning bell went off in my head. Aquaman would never ask if Kaldur was alright unless he had reason to believe that he wasn't. Regardless of his concern, I wasn't about to throw Kaldur under the bus.

"He doesn't feel like talking. We're gonna hang out for a while."

 _"_ _Hang out?"_

"He's spending time with me."

 _"_ _I see. Just let him know that I expect to see him before nightfall."_

I wasn't aware Kaldur had a curfew.

"Will do. Red Arrow out."

I turned to Kaldur.

"You wanna tell me what that was about?"

He averted his eyes and said not really.

"Kal. You're starting to worry me. Let's sit."

"I do not _want_ to sit!"

The venom in his voice brought me up short.

Angry Kaldur isn't as funny as I had imagined it.

"Kal. Something is up. Tell me."

He seemed about to answer but changed his mind.

"Can we patrol?"

I didn't think it was the best idea. He seemed hostile, but he had never give me reason to think he would lose control in the field.

After I suited up, we made our way to The Alley. The place is as seedy as it sounds. This was the only place I could think of that had such blatant crime this early in the day.

It seems my fears were misplaced. Kaldur did not go crazy on anybody. Quite the contrary actually.

He fought with veteran efficiency and precision.

Whenever I put my hand on his shoulder to tell him good job, he shrugged it off. If I didn't know any better, I would say he was mad at me.

He wasn't slowing down.

We had about 40 minutes until nighttime. I reminded Kaldur of Aquaman's words.

He eyes had cleared up and he was more focused.

Back to his usual calm demeanor.

Anyone with eyes could see he was embarrassed about his behavior earlier. Which is weird considering I go on rants every other day and he still thinks I'm sane.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

I had to clarify a few things with Roy before I left.

I needed to give him enough to know I was going to be okay without telling him too much.

I was rude to him all day. Giving him the silent treatment. Not thanking him for spending time with me.

I looked back in my memories to find out what I should do to let him know I was truly sorry. I remembered Robin and KF did a secret handshake. We did not have one of those so I chose another path.

I stepped up to him and wrapped my arms around his upper shoulders and back. He tensed up.

"I am sorry my friend. Today was a much needed distraction. I did not intend to take my frustrations out on you."

If it were any other day I would have laughed at his utterly ridiculous face.

His cheeks were brighter than his hair.

He cleared his throat and pushed away from me.

"Oookay. _Dude_. Hugs are a no. I forgive you. Just…yeah. So what's up? Really."

I took a moment to gather my thoughts.

"Roy. On our last mission there was a… _criminal_ we captured that was…from my past. We did not have a good relationship. It rattled me. I did not expect such a thing to come up during my time on the surface. "

Or any time for that matter. We all swore that we would never bring it up.

"It has been a struggle these past few days. Aquaman means well, but you know how that goes. I like to solve my own problems."

And Roy did know. Green Arrow tried. He still tries. Their problems mostly stem from misunderstandings and personality differences.

"Kaldur we're friends. We're all assholes at least sometimes. Just don't make a habit of it. That's my gimmick."

I was grateful for his understanding. I could not afford to alienate such a good friend.

I bade my farewell and made my way back to Mt. Justice.

 **Roy's POV**

In the end it was Kaldur's anger that bothered me the most. I didn't let on that I felt something was up. I just knew it was bigger than an old acquaintance from the past.

The guy had Kaldur shook.

It takes a lot to shake a man who is used to fighting literal monsters.

I made up my mind to give him his space, but to be on the lookout for anymore suspicious behavior.

I might have Robin check the guy out.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

It was windy out, but it did not bother me. I was used to much colder temperatures. It was the silence that bothered me. It was a dull silence. It gave me more time to think than I needed.

I could not help slightly doubting my father. Not about him blaming me, but that he would not take actions into his own hands. I had spoken with him about it briefly when my mother was not in the room.

He takes protecting me and my mother very seriously.

I know he will try to locate these men and execute them if given half the chance. He did not get into Manta's army by being unwilling to kill.

I know he is a changed man, but I believe _he_ believes this situation justifies it. I am not sure about my mother either. She is fierce when it comes to me.

She might even help. Subtly that is. She can not use her magic in any case.

I felt bad about leaving my parents early, but I was getting anxious being around them. They were unsure what to say to me, and I to them.

We never had a problem communicating before. This is just another thing I had hoped to avoid. I am starting to regret telling them. Even now, I know they are thinking about me. Worried about my health. Fretting over things they have no control over.

I fear I will not uphold my promises to my parents. Already I had denied sustenance from Roy twice that day.

I finally made it back to base where Aquaman was waiting for me.

Batman and Superman were there to.

I was suddenly tired. I just wanted to get in my tank and sleep until the morning. If we did not have any missions, I was only responsible for making practices.

I guess something in my posture was defensive because Batman and Superman shared a look while Aquaman raised a brow.

"Kaldur'ahm. I hope your time with Red Arrow was beneficial. We have much to discuss."

"Can it not wait?" Even I heard the bite in my tone.

I do not know where that came from. I had not meant to say it. I just had the sudden urge to test him. I was tired, but I was not _that_ tired.

I could the surprise clear on his face. On Superman's too. I had never denied such a _reasonable_ request.

 _I am not mad at Aquaman._

I had to remind myself of that.

 _He is only trying to help me._

I have to internalize this.

Aquaman took his time answering.

"If you are truly tired you may convene to your quarters. It is not something that cannot wait until the morrow."

I tried to reign it in. I really did. I know he did not mean anything by it, but I was overly _sensitive_ for some reason.

Before I could stop the flow I words I blurted out what I thought about that.

"If I am _truly_ tired? Would I lie about such matters?"

"Kaldur'ahm…I did not mean to suggest-"

"It does not matter. I am tired and I _am_ taking my rest."

I was scared. I had no clue why I was reacting this way to Aquaman. He has done nothing against me. Instead of turning around and apologizing, I hurried to my room.

 **Aquaman's POV**

"What was that?"

I was speaking more to myself than anything.

Batman answered anyways.

"This is not uncommon behavior for this kind of thing. I wouldn't take it to heart. He doesn't mean to snap at you. It will subside in time. Give him room to breathe. It's easy to forget, but he _is_ still a teenager. This wont be his last mood swing."

It is hard seeing Kaldur'ahm this way. I can see the merit if the Bat's words, but I feel like I have been grasping at straws for the past few days now.

What really baffles me is that Kaldur'ahm seems angry with _me_. I hope he does not feel like I pressured him into talking with his parents. The more I think about it, the more I wish I had pushed the meeting back a few days like I had initially planned.

It was too much too soon.

All heroes with a protégé were given orders to keep them away from Mt. Justice for the week or until further notice.

It is not as if they would not notice the absence of their leader.

M'gann and Connor will be staying with her uncle in his apartment.

"He needs help."

Me and Batman turned to Superman. He was clearly pointing out the obvious.

"I mean he needs help that we are not equipped to give him. Canary is good at her job, but she is not completely unbiased. She _knows_ Kaldur. She works with him. He needs to _believe_ that _whatever_ he says will stay with that person. Canary has a certain limit that she can keep to herself. There are things she _has_ to tell us. Kaldur knows that too. He could be subconsciously holding things back."

I heaved a troubled sigh.

"What you say is true, but I do not believe Kaldur would want to see someone else. I will ask, but we must be prepared for a negative response."

"As long as he's getting help."

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

I got to my room and started panicking. I told myself to calm down. To breathe. But it was not working.

I could not make my body obey my mind. My limbs would not _submit_.

I was overtaken in another memory.

It came out of nowhere.

I slid to the floor. _Remembering. Cringing. Gagging_.

 _"_ _Hurry Dardanus. We would like our turns too."_

 _My face was pressed against the ocean floor. I was breathing in water and sand. I tried to focus on the sway of the water. But I could not hear her. She was too far away._

 _But what I could hear was grunting. The only thing I felt was pain and humiliation. When they got together it was so much more talking. So many more things they would make me say._

 _"_ _You enjoy this Durahm?"_

 _I did not answer. He hit my backside with his open palm. It stung._

 _My answer was a weak yes._

 _They all laughed._

 _Dardanus finished and passed me to Kordax._

 _I was crying by then. Barely keeping it together. Kordax loved to make me beg. To pretend._

 _My eyes followed his form._

 _He removed his clothes and lay on his back._

 _He was going to make me get on top._

 _"_ _Come on Kaldur'ahm. Hop on."_

 _I flushed red from my neck to the tips of my ears._

 _I straddled him and he pulled me onto him._

 _He was much wider than Dardanus. He threatened me not to look away._

 _I kept my eyes on him but I let my mind wander._

 _He caught on and started making me engage._

 _"_ _So tight. So small. You are the perfect size Kaldur. You take me so well."_

 _My tears were beyond my control by then. I just let him have his way._

 _"_ _Tell me why we do this. Open your mouth and tell me."_

 _I gave the customary response._

 _"_ _Because I deserve it. It feels good. I need this."_

 _Kordax finished quickly after that._

 _I was sore. I wanted to stop, but it is not as if they would have listened._

 _Next was Topo. Topo and Arion. Arion did not always join in. Mostly he took pictures of me._

 _If anyone ever saw them they would be deceived. I looked happy enough in some of them. If anyone cared to look they might notice my disheveled clothed, my too shiny eyes, my fake smile._

 _Topo pushed me to my knees. I was ashamed at how grateful I was. I do not think I would be able to sit if he had used me the other way._

 _Arion had the camera ready._

 _"_ _Open up Kaldur'ahm. Yessss."_

 _I opened my mouth and Topo did the rest. He hardly ever had the patience to make me do things on my own._

 _It was Arion who truly frightened me._

 _Arion was really big on talking._

 _I could barely breathe. Topo did not care._

 _His taste was bitter._

 _"_ _That's it Kaldur. You are so pretty."_

 _I tried to block Arion out, but it was impossible._

 _"_ _Look at that_ _ **mouth**_ _."_

 _Topo did not break his pace. My chest was starting to burn. My knees were scraping the ground, and because they had taken my clothes I was completely exposed._

 _Click!_

 _"_ _Perfect. You are perfect for this."_

 _Even as the others agreed, I hated when he said that._

 _Click!_

 _"_ _Take him down all the way. Just like that."_

 _He stepped closer and got a photo of me with Topo in my mouth. He always showed them to me after._

 _Topo finished down my throat as usual. He then passed me to Kordax who would clean me up and help me put my clothes back on._

 _I was moving to slow for them so Dardanus carried me to Arion's study. Nobody ever asked what we did in there._

 _"_ _Sit Kaldur'ahm."_

 _I just looked at him._

 _He kept talking like I never even stopped him._

 _"_ _Of course. You are probably feeling a little discomfort."_

 _A little discomfort?_

 _"_ _Very well. You may stand next to me."_

 _I moved to stand by him. The sooner we got this over with the better._

 _"_ _You know what to do Kaldur'ahm."_

 _I took his member out of his pants and started rubbing him like he taught me to._

 _"_ _Good. You are so good at this now. Remember the first time? You were so nervous."_

 _He sounded like he was telling a story about the time I got a question wrong in class._

 _He pulled out the pictures._

 _"_ _This one is good. Hmmm. All you can see is your back and you on your knees. Classic."_

 _I did not say anything. I was not supposed to._

 _"_ _I like this one too. Slower Kaldur.:_

 _I went slower._

 _"_ _Aah. Yes. This one with you looking at the camera with your mouth full. Your lips are so plump. It is no wonder Topo enjoys them so much. He makes your mouth stretch. And those tears."_

 _He groaned deeply._

 _I kept twisting and jerking._

 _"_ _Not many Atlanteans have tear ducts. You cry so beautifully. You know we do not mean to hurt you right?"_

 _I nodded my head._

 _"_ _Good. It is important that you know that. Firmer Kaldur'ahm. Firmer. From the top. Here."_

 _He repositioned my hands. I had to use both because one would not reach all the way around._

 _He was sweating and panting in his chair._

 _I had been to this room so many times that I could recount the first 63 books on his shelf by title and author without looking. My goal was to know the entire top row._

 _It kept my mind occupied._

 _"_ _Do you like this one? This is you on your back with Dardanus inside you."_

 _He always made everything sound dirtier than I remembered it._

 _"_ _Your eyes are lidded. I can tell you were enjoying it."_

 _I was not. I was in pain. I was close to passing out, but it was just like Arion to overlook that._

 _I knew what was next. His breathing had picked up. I knew better than to speed up anymore. If he finished before he got to his_ _ **favorite**_ _picture, I was in trouble._

 _He pulled it out of his top drawer._

 _"_ _This is my favorite."_

 _It was a picture of me completely naked and sleeping in his bed. You could tell it was his bed because he had taken me to his home on one of the breaks. His pillow with his initials embroidered on it was in between my legs._

 _He had me to lie to my parents and tell them that I was not taking one._

 _He took me after most people had already left._

 _He took me to a few shops and made me buy things. He kept saying that money was not an issue. I wanted to tell him that I did not want his things. But he would have been furious with me. So I picked out random things that meant nothing to me._

 _It was a week of hell but I survived._

"Kaldur!"

 _My memory had started to blur. Someone was calling me but I could not answer._

 _My vision went black._

 **Superman's POV**

I heard Kaldur choking from the other room. By the time we got there he was curled up on the floor and his eyes were in the back of his head.

This just solidified my thinking earlier.

I tried calling his name but he didn't respond. I swooped him up and flew him to the infirmary. Batman and Aquaman were following me.


	8. Chapter 8

Because I took soooo long updating the last chapter and am behind in my other stories as well, I decided to upload another chapter. (I am not sure I will keep this story on . It's not really doing well on here. I am definitely keeping it up on archiveofourown)

Aquaman gives us a lesson on Atlantean Physiology and culture. Roy does some snooping. Kaldur tries to control his sudden temper.

Same WARNINGS & TRIGGERS apply

Please leave kudos & Comment

NOTE: I know NOTHING about Atlantean or Merpeople physiology **whatsoever**. Everything I used I got from here:

wiki/Merfolk_Physiology

I do not own anything Young Justice Related

Chapter 8

 **Black Canary's POV**

It's past time we sat Aquaman down and ask him about Kaldur'ahm's physiology. Also a few notes on masculinity in Atlantis would help too. In order to get to the root of Kaldur's problems I needed more back ground information.

There had been an emergency meeting called to brief us on Aqualad. He was not doing well. Martian Manhunter had looked over him and given us his synopsis. It wasn't very detailed. He knew what we knew.

"Aquaman, what can you tell us about Atlantean physiology?"

 **Aquaman's POV**

I took a deep breath.

"You have to understand, Kaldur'ahm is an enigma even to _us_. No doubt you have all noticed his webbed hands and gills. You have also noticed that I myself have neither of those."

Everyone was waiting patiently. I was never open about Atlanteans. I could not be sure it would not be used against us. The exception this time is because Kaldur'ahm needs help.

"Kaldur'ahm is only half Atlantean."

I could feel the curiosity peak in the room but before anyone could interrupt, I kept talking. We were not here to discuss his parentage.

"There are certain things he is more sensitive to than full Atlanteans and certain things he is nearly immune to. The sorcerers and healers do what they can but there is not another case like his."

"You say he is half Atlantean, I'm assuming the other half is human?"

Batman always saw things he should not.

"Yes."

He was not finished.

"He visited his parents. Both of them in Atlantis. If one of them is human, how can they live underwater? Is not their physiology similar to Kaldur's in this respect?"

I had to remember I was talking to people who disregarded magic as valid.

"His father uses magic to allow him to stay in Atlantis. It is not because he is genetically built like Aqualad."

I knew that would garner questions, but we did not have the time to question everything.

"What else can you tell us?"

"There is not much about half human half Atlantean hybrids. Kaldur'ahm's magic lies in his tattoos. While he has electricity running through his body, he has not yet figured out a way to release it in any dose without harming himself."

"When was the last time he tried?"

I was hoping Canary was not suggesting he start trying again. She must have read my mind.

"I'm not going to try to make him, I just want a note of it."

"Of course. About 3 months before he came to the surface as Aqualad."

"How much exposure to water does he actually need? IF he didn't have his suit which I'm pretty sure helps him retain moisture."

I forget that the Flash is a scientist. I mostly see him making ill timed jokes and stuffing his face.

"It does help him retain moisture. The answer to your question is not a simple one. Depending on the season Kaldur'ahm needs more or less water exposure to stay hydrated. He requires much less actual water than most full Atlanteans because he can control the water flow in his body. Some Atlanteans can never go on land while others can for varying amounts of time."

He was scribbling down notes and I am certain Batman was too.

Superman wanted to know why Kaldur'ahm had gills and if it made it harder for him to breathe on land.

"We are not sure of this ourselves. My physicians have come to the conclusion that his body instinctively knows when he is under water and when he is not. When he is not, his lungs work like any other humans and his gills are practically decoration at that point. They do not seem to filter the air or anything."

It was true. Whenever I took Kaldur'ahm to Gotham city he complained about the air like everyone else.

"His having gills were purely based on chance. Some Atlanteans resemble fish-like creatures and some appear more humanoid. Cross breeding is common so we all have a sense of animal empathy and some, like myself, mind link with them."

"So you mean to say you can talk to _fish_?"

There was a collective groan.

"Yes Flash. I can talk to fish."

"I did notice he was more receptive of telepathy than the others." This was from J'onn.

"Even that has its limitations. Some can only mind link to hyper intelligent species like dolphins and others to any sea creature. There is the matter of distance, precision, strength, and the like."

I had never shared so much about my people and specifically their limitations.

There are things I did not say. Kaldur'ahm's suit, same as my own, his made of very heavy material. We are used to the heavy pressure of being so deep underwater. If we went long without the pressure and then tried to go back to Atlantis it could cause complications.

All Atlanteans possess _super_ strength relatively speaking. Water is a heavier medium than air. Being born under strenuous water pressures makes you stronger than human children at birth.

 **Black Canary's POV**

I cleared my throat and got the rooms attention.

"Based on J'onn's report Kaldur'ahm had an acute anxiety attack. It also appears his caloric intake has dropped drastically. I know he's had issues for the past few days, but does the decrease in food usually work this _fast_?"

"Usually he can withstand eating less food for a longer period of time. Not to mention his stress levels are uncharacteristically high for him. I would say that added with the lack of sleep knocked him out rather than not eating enough."

I wasn't surprised by his assessment.

"However, Atlantean diet is protein based so that is something to note."

I made sure to catalog the information.

The next question I had would be a bit more personal, but I needed to know if there was anything that Kaldur might be socially pressured by that I had not anticipated.

"Is there anything I should be aware of regarding societal pressures?"

Aquaman gave me a strange look.

"Such as?"

"Well I know male rape victims tend to question their sexuality and masculinity due to their assaults."

The whole room cringed when I said rape, but if we could not even say it to ourselves how could we hope Kaldur to open up to us?

Orin seemed decidedly uncomfortable and took his time answering.

"It is not so much masculinity than it is warrior mentality."

Before that Green Lantern and Wonder Woman had not said much, but both being warrior themselves added in their perspective.

"I can understand that. When I came back from the war there were so many soldiers with PTSD that chose to suffer in silence rather than seek help."

Wonder Woman took up the mantle.

"Who wants to think that the people protecting them are capable of breaking?"

The room got silent. The parallels between soldiers and superheroes were clear.

This is what I was worried about. Kaldur had already shown signs that he felt he was not fit to lead. This could be the nail in the coffin.

If we let him resign he would lose his confidence, but if we made him stick with it he could possibly shut down.

Only time would tell.

 **Green Lantern's POV**

I felt really bad for the kid. And that's what he is, a kid. Not only did he go through this alone, but the way it was brought to everyone's attention was rough. He will never get the chance to go to anybody on his own time with this secret because it's out in the open already.

I will do what I can. I know what it's like to think I always come second because it's my job to put my life on the line for others.

I've had people tell me that I was being selfish with my emotions. That I _willingly_ signed up for the army so I knew what to expect. That looking for a little understanding was just me playing the victim.

For a few years I bought into that too. I ignored my own mental health and pretended I was doing just fine.

But then I thought I had destroyed an entire planet _(Justice League reference)_ and I started taking my mental health seriously.

 **Wonder Woman's POV**

I'm having a really difficult time with all of this. I'm not sure how much I should say. I know I have the tendency to see things as black and white, but I can't help it. I want Kaldur'ahm's tormentors to come to justice.

And this is what scares me.

I try _not_ to think about Kaldur'ahm.

It is easier to think about the wrong doers. I don't want to think about a small and frightened child. I don't want to think about nightmares, eating disorders, and pain.

I know this makes me weak. This did not happen to me and I am coming undone. I don't know how to help.

Even if we get rid of the four beasts, Kaldur'ahm will not magically heal. I don't know what to do with this information.

We have a child in the next room fighting for sanity and I'm worried about feeling useless.

Hera give me strength.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

I woke up unsure of where I was or what was happening. I rubbed my eyes until they cleared.

I was in the infirmary.

I was not sure why I was here but then I remembered what happened.

I had not had a fainting spell in ages.

Upon further inspection I could see someone, likely Martian Manhunter, had left a clicker close to my bed. I did not push it. I wanted some time to myself.

I needed to come up with a story that was believable.

They would want to know why I lost consciousness and there was no way I was going to tell them the truth.

I could not bring myself to want to push that button. I just wanted to go to my room and swim. In fact, I got up to do just that.

On my way out of the door I saw a clipboard. It had my name on it. My file was not necessarily big.

I went straight to the last entry to see what they had come up with.

There was not much there besides the obvious. That did not surprise me. Not many knew much about Atlantean's.

What did surprise me was the footnotes.

 _Possible aversion to food. Monitor eating habits. Look into past eating disorders. Patient has stated he doesn't think he can keep anything down._

My face felt tight.

Aquaman assured me he would keep me updated on things. He did not have to tell the others to secretly monitor my eating habits. It just shows how much he is starting to distrust me.

It hurts to think that. It hurts because _they_ told me this would happen. That if I ever told I would lose credibility. That, as a soldier, if I _really_ wanted them to stop I would have found a way.

And they are right. I could have told. I did not. I am losing credibility if the footnotes are anything to go by.

I am really beginning to unravel. I needed to go back to my routine. I needed to train again.

Before I left the room I ripped up the file before I could second guess myself.

If they think I have a problem they need not be sneaky and spy on me, they can come to me and _ask_. I am not a dishonest person. I am not sure how many more slights I can take to my character.

And if they truly believe I have done nothing wrong, like they _insist_ , then they will have no problem with speaking to me about their concerns.

 **Roy's POV**

I contacted Robin hours ago to look into a criminal caught on their last mission in their database. I didn't tell him anything else. He tried to wheedle it out of me, but I didn't want to put Kaldur in a compromising position so I wouldn't even mention his name.

He got back in contact with me and told me nothing came up. That there were no names in any system other than Manta henchman.

I thanked him, but couldn't quell my worry.

Kaldur'ahm was pretty shaken up about something, and if Batman decided not to log it then it was bigger than I had originally thought.

 **Batman's POV**

Superman cocked his head to the side.

"What is it?"

All eyes turned to him.

"I think Kaldur just woke up. It sounds like he's walking away from his room."

Aquaman and Canary got up to go after him. Nobody else followed them.

 **Aquaman's POV**

Kaldur'ahm's erratic behavior was getting progressively worse. It is customary to leave a summoning device in a patient's room, and I know he has one. There was no reason for him to leave without alerting anyone.

When we got to the room my heart sunk.

 **Canary's POV**

Kaldur's file was ripped up and scattered across the floor. I couldn't think of anything in his file that would have gotten him so upset. It was mostly just facts about his age, height, and eye color.

Nothing that warranted the level of aggression displayed here.

It's not so much that ripping up a piece of paper is violent, but that to someone who makes sure he doesn't even _crease_ his papers would rip this one up and then leave it lying on the floor.

Kaldur is immaculately neat. After he trains he puts his things away. After he eats he cleans his own dishes by hand. Kaldur was going to snap anytime soon.

It would be good when he did. He would open up, say things that are hurtful, maybe even cuss. But it will go a long way to helping him get better.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

I heard footsteps coming closer to my room. I was swimming laps in my tank. I had no intention if stopping.

Aquaman and Canary stepped into my room. Aquaman closed the door. My heart skipped a beat.

 _This is Aquaman. He's not going to do anything. Besides Canary is here. She would stop him if he tried._

"Is something wrong?"

"You left your room without notifying anyone you were awake. We just wanted to make sure you were alright."

Aquaman was never so hesitant with his words. I guess he remembered me getting angry with him earlier.

"I regained consciousness and had no problem walking. I did not think it required me notifying anyone."

Canary raised a brow. I could not help staring at the door. I wish he would just open it.

"Kaldur do you mind getting out of the water for a few minutes?"

It was a reasonable request, even if I did not want to abide, so I got out. I had to remind myself that I wanted to show them that I was functional. I needed to get my routine back.

Canary took a step closer to me.

I got out of the tank.

"Kaldur. Would you like to tell me why you ripped up your file?"

I already formed a lie in my head. A partial lie anyways.

I woke up and realized I had a fainting spell. I was frustrated because I had not had one in ages. I guess I was a little embarrassed too. In a fit of anger, I ripped up the closest thing that I saw."

I was not sure if they bought it but they did seem to relax.

"It happens. We can always make another file."

I nodded my head.

Aquaman took a step to me.

"Kaldur'ahm we need to know why you had a… _fainting_ spell."

I barely managed to stop myself from glaring at him.

"It is nothing my king. I had just not eaten since this morning."

He eyes were distrustful. I was a little annoyed he did not believe me even though I _was_ lying.

He walked next to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Kaldur'ahm, you do not have to keep things from me. Anything you say will be kept between us in this room."

"I have told you. I had not eaten in hours. My body needed nourishment and did not have it."

He sat me on my bed.

 _Breathe Kaldur. This is Aquaman. Canary is right there._

"Kaldur'ahm I promise to do my best to help you in anything you need. I want you to know there is nothing you cannot tell me. It is true your caloric intake has decreased, but it would take several days before such a thing would render you unconscious."

 _He was so close. Calling me a liar without saying it._

My hands fisted the covers.

"I am fine. I have nothing more to say than that."

Canary had not said anything. She was just watching us.

I did not expect it. Aquaman startled me. He stood up suddenly and I was reminded of them. Standing over me. The door was closed.

I punched him. _Hard_.

There was no movement in the room.

"Forgive me my king. I did not mean to hit you. I-"

He cut me off, holding up his hands like he did not want to make any sudden movement.

"It is alright Kaldur. I should not have startled you."

He was speaking slowly. Leaving a breath between each sentence. Canary was all but broadcasting pity.

I was starting to scare myself. One minute I am angry and the next I am not. I do not know how to reconcile it.

 **Aquaman's POV**

I had not expected Kaldur'ahm to hit me. I knew he was on edge, but.

"Kaldur'ahm maybe you should have a seat. Try to breathe."

"No!"

"Okay. Just tell me what you need for us to do."

His body was rigid.

"What do you need Kaldur'ahm?"

"Door."

I was confused.

"Excuse me?"

"The door."

I was still not following.

"Please. Open. The. Door."

It sounded like every word pained him to say. The implications of his request were not lost on anyone in the room.

Canary swiftly opened the door. He only calmed down a bit.

Now the atmosphere was awkward.

I am grateful Canary was there. This was more her area of expertise.

"Kaldur. Please let us help you. If you tell us your problems, we can be more effective. We don't mean to pry. We just want to be thorough."

His eyes were dewy. His voice was little more than a whisper.

"Memories. A… _bad_ one. I shut down?"

He phrased the last part like a question.

His emotions were all over the place. No doubt from years of emotional buildup.

"Will you tell us what it was about?"

He shook his head no.

"Is there anything you want to ask us?"

It was quiet for a moment. He only had one thing to say

"I never had an _eating_ _disorder_."

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 **Batman's POV**

Robin is off. We were fighting Two-face. He has not been this distracted in a while. He was making careless mistakes.

When we got back to the cave I asked him about it.

"Is there something the matter Dick?"

He removed his mask and stared into my eyes.

"What happened on our last mission? What are you keeping from us?"

I merely raised a brow. I know he didn't get any indication of anything being amiss from me.

"What do you mean?"

He wasn't having it.

"Someone contacted me about a detainee from our last mission. I did some digging. Everyone in our custody is interrogated. And every interrogation comes with a video and paper copy. There is none for the last one. I know you are covering something up. What is it?"

"It is not your concern."

"Who is he?"

"Stay out of it. It's League business."

He was angry.

"Maybe Speedy had the right idea. We are just sidekicks to you. You never tell us anything and I _know_ you're lying to me right now."

"So Roy contacted you?" I wasn't the World's Best Detective for no reason. I know I couldn't have just asked him. He wouldn't have told me.

He looked frustrated.

"Who was he? What does he have to do with Roy?"

"No Dick, this is none of your business."

"Why? You don't trust me with it?"

I gave him a long hard look.

"That's not it and you know it. This case is a matter of privacy. And a _good_ man is caught in the middle of it. He deserves his confidentiality. He is entitled to it. That is why I _will not_ tell you anything."

I made up my mind to have a talk with Roy tomorrow.


	9. Chapter 9

Same WARNINGS & TRIGGERS apply

Please like & Comment

I do not own Young Justice

Chapter 9

 **Canary's POV**

I set up a meeting with Kaldur'ahm early this morning. He was right on time. He sat in the chair across from me. I handed him several articles of reading material. He looked suspicious but took them from me.

I watched him thumb his webbed fingers through the pamphlets on eating disorders. He refused to call it such. He insisted a disorder meant that he was defective in some way. He would only allow us to call it a _slight_ aversion to food.

While he was reading through the material and scrunching up his face now and again, I pulled out booklet Batman had commissioned for him with the help of Aquaman.

It was a meal plan and an eating schedule.

I wanted Kaldur to look over a few facts about eating disorders before I would try to convince him that it was in his best interest to have someone make his meals and encourage him to eat them. He would most definitely see it as a loss of control and there's not much I can do about it.

I know for a _fact_ that he had not eaten yesterday night or this morning.

"Kaldur?"

He looked at me for the first time.

"I'm going to give you a little assignment. I want you to read these articles and I'm going to quiz you on them in a few days. I just need to make sure you are aware of how much avoiding food can affect your life, and I don't just mean physically."

"Although I do not think this is necessary, I will do as you instructed. Is there something else?"

As bad as I wanted to address that I decided to let it go for now. The meal plan will be much harder to sell.

I pushed the book in front of me and towards him. He had only read the title before the indignation showed on his face.

"Wh-"

I cut him off.

"Kaldur I know what this looks like. But I need you to trust me on this. With everything that's going on right now, I think it will be easier for you if you have one less thing to worry about."

He wasn't having it.

"Choosing my meals for me? I am not a child."

Technically he _is_ a child, but there is no point in pointing it out.

"Did Aquaman put you up to this?"

"Why would you think that?"

"Some of the foods on here are not items common to the surface world's palette."

Aquaman was right. Kaldur definitely noticed his involvement. But it had to be done. Batman wanted him to have meals that are familiar to him so he wouldn't feel like he was being over burdened.

We all knew it would be hard to get Kaldur to submit to this newest intrusion. He is a very independent person. He likes to spend time alone and often practices self-restraint.

"I do not see how this is a hard concept to grasp. I do not have a problem with eating. It is just that sometimes I do not feel like it."

"Have you ever not eaten when you were hungry because you didn't feel like it?"

He looked angry.

"You are attempting to trick me."

I sighed.

"No Kaldur. I'm not. I just want you to know that eating is a necessity. If your emotions are hindering that, then we can help you get a lid on it."

"It is not as if I do not eat _every_ time I am feeling out…just sometimes."

I reached out and put my hand over his. I waited to speak until he made eye contact with me.

"It's not a healthy habit Kaldur. Sometimes is not the worst, but couple that with trauma and it can quickly get out of hand. I don't want to see that happen to you."

He looked a little shamefaced.

"How about this? We give the meal plan a trial run of 2-weeks. If it turns out that you don't need it, it's gone?"

He took a minute to answer. No doubt considering the technicalities.

"I can try this."

I couldn't hide my smile of relief if I wanted to. I had a feeling he would put up a fight again, but for now he had assented to trying it out.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

"I believe there is something else you wish to discuss?"

She gave me a pitying smile. I took a deep breath. I had to stick to the plan. Do my usual routine. Talk to Canary. Eat. Sleep. If I could get a handle on these things, then the League would stop doubting my ability to handle my own problems.

My parents had sent me a message last night. They asked our neighbor to cast a calling spell to speak with me.

They looked worried and kept the conversation short.

They wanted to know if I needed anything. Wanted to talk about anything.

I told them no, and even though they knew it was a lie, they let me make it.

That talk solidified the thought that my father was up to something. He looked so _broken_ when he looked at me. I would have to ask Garth to subtly keep tabs on him. He would not ask questions.

Calvin Durham is a man of few words. I guess I got that from him. Not that my mother is a big talker, just that my father is even more quiet. When he moves his thumbs in circles around each other, he is thinking.

My father is a man who craves justice. I have a niggling feeling that he will try to do something. I would be most low if he put himself in danger on my behalf. One mistake and he could be banned from Atlantis permanently. I doubt our family would recover.

 **Canary's POV**

"There is another matter."

I tried to feel him out, but he could be as removed from a situation as Batman when he wanted.

"I would like to know your thoughts on what happened to you. Anything you want to say to describe it."

He looked a little ashen.

"Why?" He shot me a skeptical look. He wasn't sure what it would accomplish.

"Kaldur. The more you open up about it, the easier it will be to find balance. I know I'm making it sound simpler than it really is, but that's the most basic way to describe it."

"I did not like it… _always_."

He whispered the last part and immediately tried to backtrack.

"Breathe Kaldur. You haven't said anything wrong."

"I do not wish you to misunderstand. I did not like it ever. I know it was wrong. Everything about it was wrong."

I'd worked with enough people to know when to not interrupt.

He was grasping for words.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

I had not meant to say that. I could not have her thinking that I _enjoyed_ it. She would begin to think that I wanted it to happen.

I just meant that sometimes it was not painful. Sometimes I was weaker and could not refuse my body's demands.

She would not see it that way. No normal person would.

I wish I could take the words back, but she had already heard them.

 **Canary's POV**

"Kaldur'ahm I want you to listen to what I'm about to say and take it to heart if you can ok?"

He only continued to stare at the table, but I knew he was listening.

"These things do not always hurt physically. Just because someone becomes aroused doesn't make it okay. It doesn't mean they deserved it or welcomed it. Flesh reacts to physical stimulus. It's a perfectly normal reaction."

He just began to shake his head repeatedly.

"Kaldur?"

"Do not do that. You do not have to tell me that to make me feel better. I _know_. I _understand_. I should have _never_ felt good about it. Do not coddle me. I know."

I wanted to pull him into a bear hug and never let go. If I weren't me I would end Dardanus while he was still in our custody. People like him don't deserve to live.

"I'm not just saying that Kaldur. This has happened to people before. An orgasm doesn't absolve their crime nor does it make you guilty."

I could tell he wanted to believe me. He understood it on a philosophical level, but his heart hadn't caught up yet.

"But I should not have. What they did was not right. It was wrong. All of it…just all of it."

"What did they do?"

His sea green eyes pleaded with my blue ones.

He looked so defeated.

 _"_ _They raped me."_

His voice had a weird lilt to it.

It was a hollow victory.

I felt like a knife had been twisted into my heart. He needed to say it, but it didn't make anything any easier.

He looked surprised that he actually used the word.

"Yes, they raped you. And it wasn't your fault. None of it was."

The tears began to fall and his breathing was shaky.

"It wasn't your fault Kaldur."

He dropped his head on the table and cried more earnestly then.

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 **Batman's POV**

It was clear Roy was struggling. His apartment was completely devoid of any real sustenance and it was pretty bare.

No one could say superheroing was a lucrative occupation. I would have to tell Oliver to help him as subtly as he could. Roy was a proud kid. He'd probably already refused Oliver's help before.

I had been waiting in his apartment for over two hours. I heard when he got to the door. The slight hesitation to turn the knob let me know he knew someone was there.

His instincts were good for someone only in the business for a few years.

My assumptions were proven correct when he opened the door and his bow was aimed at me.

I could tell he was surprised to see me. I could also see the lines of fatigue. He had just gotten off patrol. It's why I came now.

Tired people snap easier and have looser tongues. Roy was stubborn and I would need all the help I could get to extract information from him. Kaldur'ahm was his best friend and, to my knowledge, his only _real_ friend. He got along with Dick and Wally but they were 5 and 3 years younger than him. Besides that, he _initiated_ conversation with Kaldur and actively sought out his company.

He lowered his bow but didn't set it down.

He rolled his eyes and gave a heavy sigh.

"Bats."

If I was Bruce right now I would have smirked.

"We need to talk about Kaldur'ahm."

"Well if they sent the big guns then it's more serious than I originally thought."

"What all did he tell you?"

He walked fully into the room and set his bow behind his recliner. He was exhausted.

"Why don't you tell me what you know and I'll let you know if he told me that or not?"

Ugh. Teenagers.

"I understand you want to protect him, but I assure you I am more aware of the situation than you are. I just need to know how much to reveal to you."

He considered it for a bit and decided to answer me.

"Just that he ran into someone he used to know."

That's all he was going to give me.

 **Roy's POV**

No way am I telling him everything. Kaldur is my friend. The Justice League is just my used-to-be employers. I don't owe them anything anymore. I don't have to prove myself to anyone.

I could have told him how off Kaldur was. How I knew something serious was going o because they were hiding it. Trying to cover something up, and I respected Kal enough not to pry too much.

I could have told him about his little episode, but that's none of his business. I'm not even sure why they sent Batman anyway.

He can catch a million bad guys, but when it comes to emotional wounds he's as useless as I am.

"Kaldur'ahm is going to need a friend right now. Just keep looking out for him. That's all I will say."

Something in his tone caught me off guard. If I wasn't _completely_ sober I could swear I detected sympathy.

Of course I know he's _capable_ of it. He is a hero and all, but he doesn't show it.

"Of course I'll look out for him."

"Good. Nobody knows we had this talk."

Yeah right.

"Yeah no. I'm not going to lie to Kaldur like you guys lied to us. He deserves better than that. He's the most honest among us. And the most understanding. He still hasn't figured out how much you guys _don't_ treat us like equals. No way am _I_ going to be the one lie to him!"

The room was quiet for a while.

"Tell him if you feel you must. But know that he really is having a hard time right now."

And with that he was out of the window. I guess the front door wasn't Batman enough for him.

Aargh.

I hate stuff like this. I know Kal. If I tell him Batman showed up he'll shut down because he'll think thy think he can't handle himself, but if I don't tell him and he finds out later…well trust is very important to Kaldur.

He would forgive me overtime, but it would never be the same.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

I sat next to Canary while I ate my breakfast. I could not tell you what it was because I was not thinking about it.

I can tell Canary knows I am not thinking about the food, but she took mercy on me and pretended not to notice.

It was the first time I had used the word _rape_.

It sounded so much more real now.

I was slowly drowning in despair. I can tell Canary wants to talk to me, but I am not up to it.

Just remembering hands, quick touches, rough squeezes, dirty words, and vile threats was enough to clam me up.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I had not noticed the new presence in the room.

"Aqualad are you okay?"

I snapped out of it.

I could see the genuine concern on M'Gann's face and I wanted it to go away. The last thing I needed was anyone on the team to see me in this state. If I was going to get better, I had to do it apart from them.

She was never supposed to be here. She should have been with her uncle.

I could not keep some of the fire out of my voice.

"Why are you here?"

Canary looked ready to intervene, but it was not needed. M'Gann is an empath. She easily gleans emotions. I just hope she did not pick up any stray thoughts. That is not a situation I am prepared to handle.

 **M'Gann's POV**

I came here to get a cookbook I had left behind. I had not expected Aqualad and Black Canary to be eating breakfast together.

Well, Aqualad was eating.

When I stepped into the room I was overwhelmed with grief, but not my own. It took me a second to conclude the source was coming from Kaldur'ahm.

After recognizing that, I was quick to shut off our mental link. I didn't want a repeat of last time.

It was difficult to keep the link closed because Kaldur'ahm's emotional state was going haywire right now. His mental walls were weakening and subconsciously reaching out to me.

 _"_ _Why are you here?"_

I could tell he didn't mean it to be rude. He had not wanted me to see him like this. I had no intention of intruding on him. He was clearly having a session with Canary now that I thought about it.

"I came to get a cookbook. I didn't mean to interrupt anything. I'll just get it and go so yu can get back to…whatever you were doing."

He made to stop me but I already knew what he was thinking.

"Don't worry this isn't something anyone else needs to know about."

He looked visibly relieved, but I could still feel his wariness. I decided to quickly get the book and leave.

When I left Canary was whispering to him.

 **Connor's POV**

Ever since M'gann got back from Mt. Justice she was real quiet. She even managed to make half decent cookies, which really let's you know something was up.

Usually when she cooks she's so excited that she forgets things because she's not focusing. It makes for interesting meals.

But since my stomach is nearly indestructible and her uncle is, well her uncle, we take it in stride.

"What's up?"

"Nothing."

I just sat next to her for 47 minutes in utter silence before she cracked.

"It's Aqualad."

I was curious now. Me and Kaldur had a strange relationship. He was my friend slash big brother. He was the first one to talk to me like a human when he helped break me out of the pod.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. He just seemed kind of down today."

I know M'Gann. She's been practicing with her uncle to block out subtle changes in emotion so she could function better in high school were teenagers' hormones were out of control.

She might have still picked up on his stress because we are around each other so much. She's used to him. To all of us. It makes her extra sensitive to our feelings.

However, I also know she's hiding something when she plays with her sleeves.

"I know there's more. You know I won't say anything, or look at him differently. I was wondering when he'd start showing how stressed he really is. He's as real as the rest of us. Besides, I have an outburst at least twice a day. Who am I to judge?"

She was chewing her lip now.

"It was different this time. He felt like he was _drowning_ in guilt. He felt completely _lost_. I've never seen him like that before. I guess it kind of scared me. He's the leader you know. I'm just so used to him handling things better than the rest of us. He's like the Batman of our team you know?"

I did know.

Kaldur'ahm's tendency to put everyone first usually means that we overlook how he takes care of himself. We take it for granted because Kaldur'ahm was a child soldier.

He has actually fought in a war.

When he has a problem, he tackles it head on.

"Whatever it is, if it's really serious I'm sure he'll ask for help. He's responsible. He'll get better."

She gave me a weak smile.

"I know. Just don't say anything to anyone ok? I wasn't even supposed to tell you."

"No problem."


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry for the long hiatus. Life picked up and only just started settling down for me.

As always, I don't own ANYTHING DC related. Same warnings apply.

Please feel free to comment!

Kaldur'ahm, Calvin, and David

 **Sha'lain'a's POV**

"Should we tell him about David?"

I had always hoped to tell Kaldur'ahm of his biological father when he had reached the age of majority. It was looking like that timeframe might be sped up a year or two.

"Sweetheart. I don't think that's very wise. Kaldur'ahm is very _sensitive_ right now. That information could break him."

I hated secrets. Oh, they were necessary at times, but they hurt all the same.

"We will need his help in order to reach those who dared harm our son. It has been years since David and I have spoken. The last time was when Kaldur'ahm was 13. He might not feel the same about him anymore."

"We'll see."

 ** _FLASHBACK_**

 **Sha'lain'a's POV**

"Sha'lain'a, he is my son too. Or have you been so busy playing house with Calvin that you've forgotten that little fact?"

"He's 9 David, he wants to practice magic. To help Atlantis be even better! Do not try to use him for your own selfish purposes."

We had been going back and forth about this for the past hour.

"9 will turn into 19 before you're ready to tell him the truth. We agreed that he would at least _know_ about me."

"Of course he knows about you! Black Manta is seen destroying things both in the Oceans and on the surface all the time. He hates you. He hates what you do!"

We were both yelling by then. Calvin had taken Kaldur'ahm on a trip to the city.

"He knows what they want him to see! He doesn't know me and that's because you won't let me near him. If I just had a little time with him to-"

"I'm just trying to protect our son!"

"And yet you won't afford me the option of doing the same! I never took you for a hypocrite Sha'lain'a."

Every time we get together he tried to tear me down. He would never understand that Kaldur'ahm came first.

"I am no hypocrite. I put that life behind me."

"You used to have such vision."

"I still do. But they include my son now."

It was silent for a beat.

"At least allow me to pay for his schooling."

"With ill-gotten money? If anyone ever found out the funds came from you, we would be run out of our homes. I would be executed for treason! It is too risky."

"You won't tell him about me. You won't let me talk to him, and you won't take my money to support him! I'm running out of options here Sha'lain'a."

It was not nearly as simple as he was making it out to be. Just speaking to him was dangerous. The thought of anyone catching him here sends shivers down my spine.

"You could always renounce your ways."

We both gave a soft smile at that. It was an age old argument between us. When I found out I was pregnant with Kaldur'ahm, my views on the world began to change. I spent many nights, trying in vain, to win David over.

"I can't do that. I won't do that."

He was looking directly at me now.

"I'm not _all_ bad Sha'lain'a."

Of course not. His ambition, his leadership skills, his charm, all were things that allured me to him from the beginning. I used to be able to envision his future so clearly, but as time wore on, and lives were lost, I lost that innocence.

"I know. One day he will know of you. Just not _now_. Give him a chance to make up his own mind about what he wants from life."

 *****End of Flashback*****

 **Present Day**

 **Calvin's POV**

It wasn't easy for me to admit that we needed David's connections. I still had a few contacts from my days as a henchman, but none high up enough to get me where I needed to get.

Those men would pay. I would hate for their deaths to get back to Kaldur, but it wasn't anything less than they deserved.

I'm not even worried about speaking to David again. He'd stopped being Black Manta to me years ago. When he decided that a life of violence was more important than Sha'lain'a and Kal.

No.

We would take David's help, but we won't tell Kaldur about him just yet. It's too much too soon. And if I'm being completely honest, I can't stand the _thought_ of him thinking of someone else as his father.

"Let's just fill him in first."

"Okay."

Sha'lain'a left the room.

 **Black Manta's POV**

It was easy avenging my father. He was more like me. Or I was more like him. I knew what I had to do. Kill the man who killed him. And if I could not, then get even. It was simple.

Kaldur'ahm was not simple. I was not like him. He was not like me. We were both proud to be sure, but he was gentle where I was not.

He believed in second chances.

I know better.

When Sha'lain'a managed to get into contact with me I knew it was about him. We had nothing to talk about other than our son.

 **Sha'lain'a's POV**

"Come quickly Calvin, contact is being established."

I would never risk using my magic unless it was important.

David's face came into view. His helmet was sitting next to him. I could not help but notice the resemblance between him and Kaldur'ahm. I am certain Calvin was too.

"We must speak quickly. It is Kaldur'ahm."

"What of him?"

I made brief eye contact with Calvin.

"We have been notified of the most heinous news regarding his time in the Atlantean Army."

"Meaning?"

I looked to Calvin to finish the rest. It did not escape my notice that they were doing their best to ignore the other.

"There were four men at the school who…raped him. It appears it was a regular occurrence. Once of the men is in your ranks. His name is Kordax. We cannot get to the other two just yet. Arion of Poseidonis and Topo of Dyss. Another is in custody and we learned this from him. His name is Dardanus."

It was several seconds before David spoke.

"This will be taken care of. Kaldur'ahm. My son. Is he…"

"He is managing as well as he can. We did not force him to stay here."

"So he's still on the surface?"

"Yes."

"This actually works better. Less of a chance for him to find out how Kordax will be tortured and summarily executed."

David's voice had taken on an increasingly venomous tone.

"I will keep you updated."

He closed the line of communication.

 **David's POV (Black Manta)**

Kaldur'ahm is not me.

He does not live for vengeance.

It is the only thing Sha'lain'a and Calvin have taught him that I can be proud of.

I had to keep reminding myself of this.

My son, who didn't know me, was hurting and I couldn't go to him.

But it seemed there was some way I could help him after all.

I donned my helmet and pushed a button calling for a guard.

"Bring me Kordax."

 **At The Watchtower**

 **Aquaman's POV**

"He wants to talk to Dardanus? I hope you told him no. I don't have the time to list all of the reasons that would be a bad idea."

I was inclined to agree with Superman, but Canary cautioned me not to dismiss Kaldur's request so lightly. Even if we decided that he could not have access to the criminal, we would need to let him know we had truly considered it.

He deserves nothing less.

"Canary explained to me that it would be in his best interest to take his request to heart and discuss it at length. While I agree that it is a bad idea, I do not want to be the one to tell him no. Especially if we cannot come up with _several_ reasons why he cannot."

"Bu-"

"Of course I believe it is too soon, but I also know Kaldur'ahm would not be amenable to that being pointed out. I will not dismiss him out of hand. Regardless of my affection and concern for him and his well-being."

Superman turned to Batman who had not spoken yet.

"What do you think Batman?"

 **Batman's POV**

"I think he isn't ready. Dardanus talks too much. He'd only try to get a rise out of Aqualad. We don't need to give him the opportunity."

"I agree, but is that how we're going to pitch it to Kaldur'ahm?"

 **Aquaman's POV**

My utility belt started to light up. I was being hailed.

"I have matters to attend."

I left the hall and went into a more private location.

"This is Annex Orin. Speak."

 **Flash's POV**

"Batman I need to speak with you."

The caped avenger merely got up and followed me out of the room.

"I don't know how long we can keep the kids from finding something out. Just yesterday Wally asked me what was going on. Apparently, he's been talking to Robin."

"I know. I told Robin it was League business. He is going to pry. That's why we haven't put anything in the formal records."

"Good. I'd hate for Aqualad to have to go through this again. And so soon."

We walked back into the meeting room.

 **Black Manta's POV**

This was not an interrogation. Kordax, my _Lieutenant_ , was guilty. This was not me trying to extract information. I didn't want to hear _anything_ this time. I didn't want to know _specifics_. If he had given me specifics, I would have gone after his family too.

This was pure and simple revenge.

He didn't fight it after I told him who my son was. He understood it was his end.

Beating him wasn't doing anything to quell my anger. It was time for him to die.

After I gave the finishing blow, I hailed two guards to dump what was left of him in front of the army school in Shayeris with a short message intended for The Usurper.

 **Aquaman's POV**

"What does it say?"

"Protecting my son in ways you cannot."

"Has the rest of his body been found?"

"Just his head sire."

"Keep me updated."

 **Superman's POV**

"We can't keep him in our custody forever. He has to be moved to Atlantis eventually."

 **Green Lantern's POV**

"Maybe we _should_ let his father have Dardanus. Save ourselves the trouble."

My statement was met with less disagreement than I thought. The only ones who protested were the Flash and Superman. More so out of common decency than any real conviction.

All heads turned when Aquaman walked back into the room.

"Dardanus cannot be moved to Atlantis anytime soon."

"Why?"

 **Aquaman's POV**

"His head was found floating in front of the army school Kaldur'ahm went to."

I did not tell them about the message. It was not my place to tell them of Aqualad's true parentage, or Calvin's and Sha'lain'a's criminal history.

There was no sound in the room.

Batman asked the question they were all wondering.

"Was it his father?"

I did not hesitate.

"No."

Technically it was not a lie.

They did not ask questions and I offered no further information.

"I should tell Kaldur'ahm."

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

Aquaman had summoned me. When I got there I knew the news would be grave.

"Annex Or-"

"Please take a seat Kaldur'ahm."

My heart was racing in my chest. I did not think they would have come to a decision already.

I took a seat.

"There is no other way to say this than to just say it."

I waited.

"Kordax is dead. His head was found floating in front of the army school at the Shayeris branch."

Nothing in me wanted to believe it.

"Did my father…?"

I could not finish the question.

"No. He did not."

He was looking down when he said it.

I knew I should have talked to Garth sooner. But if Aquaman was saying it was someone else then surely he was letting my father get away with it. I do not know what to say to my parents.

My father always had a severe edge to him, but my mother did as well. It is more likely that they both had something to do with it.

I never wanted this for them.

 **Aquaman's POV**

"Did my father…?"

He could not begin to understand the complexity of his question. Calvin and Sha'lain'a most definitely got in contact with Manta.

With the use of magic she was strictly forbidden to use. But how could I fault them? I know it must have been hard to speak with Black Manta.

Knowing that nothing you ask of him is ever freely given.

He would definitely be calling in on the favor.

"No. He did not."

It was the truth and lie all the same.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

I needed to speak to my parents. But what would I say to them? How would the conversation go with none of us speaking the obvious? I should have made it clear I did not want them to interfere.

I needed to find a way to get back to Mt. Justice. I need to talk to Roy. After my fainting spell, they had relocated me to the Tower. I had been here ever since.

It is not like I was being held prisoner.

I decided.

I would ask Aquaman to take me back to Mt. Justice. I could see no reason he would deny me.

"Can I go back to Mt. Justice?"

He looked startled that I had spoken.

"There is no one at Mt. Justice right now Kaldur'ahm. You would be there alone."

I could hear the trepidation in his voice.

"I can take care of myself."

 **Aquaman's POV**

There was no way I was letting him go alone.

"Is there something you needed from there? I could send the Flash to get whatever it is?"

It was quiet while he sized me up.

"Space. I do not want to be here for longer than necessary. It is for League members. Which I am not."

Guilt. It was not like Kaldur'ahm to take digs. He understands that the main thing in the way of his being a full League member is his age.

"I am done here. I could take you back."

"Gratitude."

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

I hated to do it, but I need to get from under the watchful eye of Aquaman. I just needed to play this right.

He would escort me back to Mt. Justice and I would stay in my room until nightfall when his guard was down.

Then I would make my way over to Red Arrow.

"Excellent. Just let me make our departure known."

I bowed and he left the room.

 **Aquaman's POV**

"He wants to go back to Mt. Justice. It is the least I can do. After the murder of Kordax, he must be pensive around us. He would probably feel more comfortable in his own room."

"Just be sure to keep an eye on him."

With a nod, I was out of the door.

 **** At Mt. Justice ****

 **Aquaman's POV**

I should have never let my guard down. I forget sometimes that Aqualad is a teenager. I just did not think he would steal away in the night like he had.

I tried calling him but I received no answer.

I was loathed to call the League and tell them Kaldur had slipped away from me.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

Tula and Garth were too far away to go to them before morning. Aside from that, even I can admit that our friendship has seemed more strained as of late. Our lives have taken different paths. That commonality we used to share does not always seem to be enough anymore.

But it was not the same with Roy. We never had a whole lot in common to begin with. Our friendship was slow getting started, but it had waxed strong trial after trial.

By the time I got to his apartment he was on top of the roof about to go patrolling. I had arrived just in time.

"My friend."

"K-Aqualad?"

"I need to talk to you. Somewhere private."

I could tell he was thinking.

"I have a place."

 **Red Arrow's POV**

I took Kaldur to an old hideout. One not even Ollie knew about. The closer we got, the heavier the weight on my stomach.

The entire trip was spent in complete silence.

When we arrived and got as comfortable as we were going to get, I started telling him about my visit from Bats.

"I didn't tell him anything. Couldn't get anything out of him either. He just told me to look out for you, that you would need a friend."

I looked to where Kaldur was hunched over in thought.

"He said nothing in particular?"

"No. We didn't talk long and he left shortly after that. I told I was going to tell you about it."

"I was not being entirely truthful the other day."

"We all have secrets Kal. I understand if you don't tell me everything."

He didn't look appeased. There was something eating at him and he was choosing me to tell it to. I couldn't fuck this up. He might never get it off his chest otherwise. Kal is a bottler. He keeps his problems to himself. I was being entrusted with something serious here.

"I know that I do not _have_ to tell you. However, I _need_ to. Aquaman is doing his best, but he does not know when to take a step back and it makes me agitated. I have lost my temper more than once against him. Canary… she pities me. I would not be surprised if the entire League did as well."

I was afraid to ask what it was.

"What happened?"

 ****Back at Mt. Justice****

"You lost him?"

"I tried calling him several times, but it turns out he left his comm device. I found it floating in his tank."

"Any clue where he could be?"

"No Superman. He does not know many people."

"Do you want us to help look for him?"

"No. He said he needed space. He could just be going for a walk."

He looked unsure but took my word for it.

"If you change your mind the Flash and Green Lantern are on standby."

 ****At the Hideout****

 **Kaldurahm's POV**

This would not be easy. But at least it was my choice to tell Roy.

"The man from my past. He was from my days in the Atlantean army."

I could see Roy's eyebrow go up. I never talked about my life before Aqualad.

"He was one of the several trainers there. But before I start with him, I should give you background information."

He simply nodded his head.

"I never had many friends. I was not very approachable. It was lonely. I left home for Army prep when I was 11. I thought I could start over, but making friends was not something I succeeded in."

Not until much later then, but by then the damage had been done.

"Days went by and nothing changed. I was at the top of my class, but there was still a void in my life. A few of the trainers, four of them, took me under their care. They gave me pointers, checked my work, and most importantly they talked to me."

This was getting harder to do.

"Things were fine for a while. Until they were not. I was not nearly as astute at 11 as I am now. I should have known something was up."

I took a few moments to steady my voice.

"One of my trainers got very… _familiar_ with me. I knew it was wrong, but I was frozen in place. He apologized later on and I vowed to put it behind me. I wanted desperately to believe that things could go back to normal. But things were never the same after that. Eventually, things escalated. The three other trainers were the same. They were in my company a lot."

I did not risk a glance at Roy. I had heard the grip on his bow tighten.

 **Roy's POV**

I don't know what I was expecting to hear but it wasn't this. Kaldur had not actually _confirmed_ what I was thinking. I could be wrong. This could be one of those Atlantean things. Something we would laugh about later. A cultural misunderstanding.

"Familiar?"

I heard the tremble in my voice.

He just looked at me. Eyes suspiciously red.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

I did not want to spell it out, but I knew he would not leave anything up to chance. He needed to be sure he understood what I was saying.

I tried to keep the tears out of my eyes, but I am sure I failed.

"Our relationship was not one of a willing nature."

"I…I'm not sure I understand Kaldur."

He was forcing himself to keep eye contact with me.

"They _touched_ me. Rubbed against me. Took pleasure from my body as they saw fit. I was a child. I would run and hide. Pretend to be sick. Go to bed early. Beg if I had to. Nothing ever worked. They never cared what I wanted. What I did not want. For years I thought it would never end. I thought about ending things-"

The crack of Roy's bow was loud.

"Your bow."

 **Red Arrow's POV**

"Your bow."

"Forget the bow Kaldur."

I had to steady myself.

"This man. Is he still in custody? Who are the others? Where are they now? I need names."

Damnit!

I was angry. Angrier than I had ever been. Kaldur didn't deserve this. Wasn't anyone fucking taking care of the kids? No one noticed **anything**? Bullshit. I know a cover-up when I see one.

His soft voice broke my thoughts.

"Calm down my friend. Please. These things are in the past."

I couldn't believe my ears. Not about something like this. How could he possibly stay calm at a time like this?

"Calm down? Kaldur those bastards _raped_ you! I should hunt them down myself and cut off their fucking hands! Make an example out of their sorry carcasses. What kind of filth hurts a defenseless child? Kaldur? Shit! Dude, please don't cry. Shit. Shit. Shit. I'm sorry Kal. You know I talk too much. I never know when to shut up."

I wasn't expecting him to _cry_. I _swear_ I didn't mean to make him cry.

 **Kaldur'ahm's POV**

I tried to keep myself under control, but seeing Roy angry on my behalf was liberating. He was not cool and collected like the League. Who wanted to take matters into their own hands, but would never say it to me.

The League coddled me and kept their truest thoughts away from me. All the while wanting me to trust them, and not trusting me.

I only sobbed harder when I felt Roy's hand on my shoulder.

I knew I was making him uncomfortable, but the tears would not stop.

"The League knows…they can barely _look_ at me. They are on eggshells around me."

My breaths were scattered.

"I had to tell my parents, and I think they had one of the men killed Roy. He is dead because of me. If I had said something years ago then maybe-"

He would not let me finish that sentence.

 **Roy's POV**

I couldn't let Kaldur put this on himself. I'm not exactly upset the guy was killed. I'd congratulate his parents, but Kaldur seemed really torn up about it.

He's probably worried they'll be in trouble.

"Don't blame yourself Kal. There's no way to know for sure what would've happened. None of it was your fault anyways. As far as your parents go, you don't _know_ they had anything to do with it. I wouldn't worry about it just yet."

"Don't do that."

I was truly confused.

"Do what?"

His voice came out hoarse.

"Do not tell me I am not at fault here. I have caused trouble for many people I care about and look up to. They are involved because of _me_."

"They are involved because they care. I care!"

"I do not think I can keep all of this in anymore. I am not sure how much longer I can function like this."

"You don't have to. Do this alone I mean. I know I went off, but anything you want to tell me I'll listen to. No judging. I won't even talk if you don't want me to. Just promise me that if you ever think about hurting yourself you'll tell me. Please promise me."

He looked hesitant to answer me. It wasn't a good sign.

"I will tell you my friend."

I gave him a shaky smile.

"Tell me how to help you Kal."

It was a while before he responded.

"I am not sure of that myself."

That wasn't promising either.

"Is there anything you want to do right now?"

He looked a little lost.

"Can we just sit here?"

"Of course."

We sat there until dawn broke.


End file.
